You may have heard of the degradingly addictive app Hot Or Not. Having not been in a relationship since my senior year of high school, I made an account to see what I’d be rated. I met some questionable guys; some extremely hot ones, and some definite “nots.”
I noticed one guy who looked surprisingly normal, and he happened to live less than an hour from me. We decided to meet at a nearby mall, (since my mom insisted that he was an axe murderer, she didn’t want him to know where we live). When I got into his car, I said hello, and he said nothing. He was looking down at his phone, fussing with his GPS. I looked around, dumbfounded by his rudeness. Finally when he acknowledged me, we started on our way to our date.
Back when we made these plans, I made the mistake of telling him I like any kind of food, thinking he wouldn’t take me anywhere too weird. I was wrong. We pulled up to a sushi restaurant. I had never had sushi before, and I knew I wouldn’t like it. Not only was the food bad, but also in this light I could see what he was wearing: a button down shirt with a tie, dress pants and dress shoes. I, thinking we weren’t going anywhere fancy, wore leggings, boots, and a sweater. (I know, typical white girl fashion.) Now, this restaurant wasn’t fancy at all, so I asked why he was so dressed up. He claimed that “fashion is his thing.” My “thing” is singing, his happened to be fashion. He said that his “outfit tonight is casual for him.” There were sirens going off in my head at this point, blaring “HES GAY, HES GAY! RUN!” Don’t get me wrong; I love gay men, just not as potential boyfriends!
Now, maybe it’s because I was raised by a working man who wore the same three outfits my whole life, with paint splattered on them, full of holes, and had one tuxedo for funerals and weddings. I’m just not used to being with someone who dresses nicer than I do. My fashionista date started going on about how expensive his outfit was, mentioning his shoes being $400. If there is one thing in this world that turns a girl off, it’s a man who brags about material things. I’ve never even spent that much money on shoes before! I suddenly felt self-conscious wearing an ensemble that I got at Forever 21 for $30.
He let’s slip that he keeps a little black book in his jacket at all times where he writes “bro codes” for a YouTube series he plans to start with his friend. I tell him that something like that already exists… It’s called Guy Code on MTV. He gets all flustered, and tells me that it’s nothing like Guy Code, because it’s called Bro Code and will be “actually true.” I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
He proceeds to tell me that at 20 years old, he never finished high school, has no aspiration to go to college, and is working at his daddy’s company, I assume, for the rest of his life. Before this job, he worked for a coffee shop. Being in my early 20s myself, I know that there is no way he can afford his own apartment. He confesses that his parents pay for him to live on his own.
On the way home from our date, he put on what he told me is his “sex playlist.” It had everything from Marvin Gaye, to Justin Timberlake’s “Mirrors.” I know, WTF? After that awkward ride home, we kissed goodbye and I drive myself home. I found him on Facebook, and noticed that his newsfeed was full of men in suits, or men in suits with a beard. That struck me as odd, since he was a straight man and there was absolutely no sign of him liking pictures of women.
The next night, he got drunk with his roommates and texted me. He said that he had feelings for me, and then proceeded to ask when I think we will be “boyfriend and girlfriend.” I said that I’m not ready, especially after only one date. He doesn’t take it very well, says “ok,” and doesn’t text me for a while. A few hours later he asked when I think I’ll be ready to have sex with him. “After the 3rd date?” He added in the text. Now, it might be normal for older adults to do that, but I’m not that kind of girl. I’m only 20 and I like to be in a committed relationship before I sleep around.
I was instantly turned off and didn’t text him again. A few days later he sent me a Snapchat of him saying “hey.” I didn’t answer. A couple minutes later he sent one of himself sitting, looking around his room, shaking his head and sighing. As if to tell me he was waiting for my response. THAT creeped me out, and I wondered what possessed someone to do such a weird thing? That was the last straw, and I deleted him from social media and my life. Thanks, mom, for insisting I don’t let him know where I live!