I’m Hypnotized By Your Name

Kamesh Vedula
Kamesh Vedula

We wake within a dream about us thick with secret, like a dark speechless stretch of ocean where you stumble after my laughter.

We wake within a dream about us as you take my face in your hand, put the perfect amount of pressure on my cheeks & look into my eyes like you wanna dive into all my mistakes, like you want to wash your skin in them, like they’re some kind of holy water & not because you think they’ll absolve you from all of yours but because you just like the way they taste.

We wake within a dream about us where we left our hands in the hollows of an overlooked forever, said we couldn’t forgive them, said regret sits under our tongues like the only match left in a citywide power outage, a waterlogged dream of need, that everyone is pounding down our door to get & we keep forgetting that our hands are only phantom & our hearts won’t let us open it with our teeth because they know we’ll swallow their only leverage.

We wake within a dream about us & we’re in a room wallpapered in light switches & our fingers keep slipping off them because they were in each other’s mouths but our bodies know the dark like they know each other, like they Daredevil know each other, like we don’t need the lights because we set the world on fire every time.

We wake within a dream about us & it’s just like us to want to turn it nightmare, it’s just like us to forget that we left the moon split & our hand prints on the hatchet we buried under the bench we shared the first time your lips stung the skin draped over my left shoulder. It’s just like us to pretend that it didn’t feel like the whelm of life we’ve been fine-tooth combing for in every snowed-under heart we’ve been tripping into since before we figured out that counting the seconds between our flash & boom was the mirage separating us.

We wake within a dream about us & it takes us almost an hour to find each other, we have just enough time to slip each other a note before the truth of morning tears us apart. When we wake lying in the distance between us we linger long enough in twilight, where we both read the notes, which say the same thing:

Most people have more than 100,000 dreams in their lifetime & I’d be more than okay to waste the rest of mine on you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Amanda Oaks is the founding editor of Words Dance Publishing, an independent press, literary blog + biweekly online poetry journal.

Keep up with on Instagram and amandaoaks.com

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