After I graduated college I took a job in media events that left me working a lot of nights and weekends with little to fill my days. After nannying for a few families in town throughout the summer I took a more permanent position a few days a week. When I first began nannying I figured it’d be a piece of cake but little did I know that I would become well versed in Doc McStuffins and be cleaning up bodily fluids that only my nursing friends had experienced.
1. Even when you have no energy they always do. Fast talking, running around and pulling out every toy they own will absolutely happen. It’s nearly impossible to keep up with everything they’re saying and doing and at times you’ll wonder why you signed up for babysitting the Energizer bunny.
2. They’ll test your boundaries the minute you’re left alone with them. Mom and Dad are finally gone which means no rules with a babysitter. While you may have every intention of being the boss they’ll start testing you by telling you ‘no’ every time you ask them to pick up their toys. You say no snacks before dinner they go ahead and get one out of the fridge. No matter how frustrating it gets you are the boss so keep holding your ground.
3. They’ll assume you have no idea how to be the boss or what the rules are. “Mom told me I can have ice cream for dinner, watch PG-13 movies and I don’t have to pick up my toys.” Yeah, right kid.
4. Every parent has different parenting styles. That being said some parents are a lot more lenient with their discipline. While you may be apt to say no to certain things their parents may be totally okay with it. Just check with mom and dad what the rules are first.
5. They will tell you they hate you at least once. So you told them no ice cream for dinner. Well, if they haven’t already had a tantrum about it they’ve definitely told you they hate you. Hearing a three year old say they hate you is basically equivalent to getting kicked in the stomach. Luckily, they probably don’t mean it and will be over it within the next hour.
6. You may need a nap even when they don’t. Remember when I said kids always have energy? Well, after a few hours all that energy may have you craving a nap but after a certain age kids don’t even take naps any more so you can kiss that down time goodbye.
7. Tantrums are a real and very frightening thing. You never would have imagined that a five year old would have that sort of lung capacity but boy is it possible.
8. You better read up on your Doc McStuffins, Thomas the Tank Engine and PAW Patrol because you’re expected to know them forwards and backwards. “Why is Thomas mad at Percy?” Cue the panic of having no idea how to answer any questions about tank engines, talking dogs or pretend vets. Oh, and they want an answer like now.
9. Kids and iPads are most definitely a thing. iPads didn’t even exist when I was growing up but you can almost guarantee that every kid no matter what age knows how to use one and can play on it for hours. Enjoy the half hour of quiet while you can.
10. Kids really do say the darndest things. “How old do you think I am?” “You’re 13 because you have boobs.” Seems logical.
11. You need to be comfortable with bodily fluids that are not your own. Just use your imagination, okay?
12. They will ask you questions about your personal life and they always remember what your answers were. Three months after you and your boyfriend have broken up you’ll still be haunted with questions like: “Do you and your boyfriend kiss?” “Can we send a Snapchat to your boyfriend?” “Well why did you break up?” I don’t know kid. Being an adult is hard, okay?
13. You will get attached. Despite the fact that you have to deal with their bodily fluids (vom) and their never ending energy those little kids still make your heart melt every time they give you a hug and you can’t imagine a life that doesn’t include spending most of the day with them.