Recovery, in general, is already hard enough. Bring in all the rest of life’s stress and it gets even harder. Life is hard in general, not just for people in recovery. However, our brains are wired just a little differently than those won’t aren’t addicts. Add in those stressors and we can go over the edge in a second.
It’s hard when the only way you use to relax was by using. Stressed about work? Use. Getting overwhelmed with school? Use. Every answer to every problem is to use.
Take that away and we just aren’t sure how to cope anymore.
I know people will say all of those are excuses, and you know what? Well, they kind of are, but after we switched that trigger in our minds that is how we think. It’s as simple as that, a little part of our brain that is screwed up, we have no idea how to fix.
Now, one of the hardest parts of recovery isn’t when you are messing up, it’s when you are doing good. You’ve been sober for a while, and everything is running smoothly, nothing seems to be going wrong. You’re happy and feel great, but then, something happens.
Seeing another friend, or just someone you know, struggle, relapse, mess up, that sucks. This is almost as bad as you relapsing yourself. Why? Why do you feel that way, you didn’t mess up? The answer is because we feel for that person.
We have been there before. Doing well and then BAM, everything goes to shit. It’s the worst feeling you could ever have, and it can happen at any time.
Years, months, days, it doesn’t matter, the demon is always ready to attack.
Ready for a sign of weakness from you, and ready to pounce.
When you see your friend, neighbor, meeting acquaintance go back out, it hurts. In this battle you find others, and no matter where you are, race, male or female, there is a bond. Automatically you support each other, even if it is just a simple “you’re doing well”. No one wants to see anyone go through that hell again.
Throughout my ups and downs, I have seen many friends fall back into their old ways. Old habits can make or break us.
They could kill us if we aren’t careful. When I’ve been up though, seeing others relapse has been one of the hardest things to deal with.
No matter what is happening in your life, even if you feel like you are on top of the world, there’s always a chance you can fail.
Maybe people will never understand, and that’s okay, you most likely never will. Just know that if one of us falls, we all feel it. We are a family in some unexplainable way.