Dating Is Harder Than It Looks When You’re A Millennial Mom

Millennial mom holding her baby
Unsplash / Colin Maynard

I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but I have found that being a mom during this era has been more difficult than I thought it would be.

You’d think that having a child during this time would be easier. “Oh everyone understands what it’s like to be a single mother nowadays.” That would be great if it was true.

The honest, raw truth is that no one really understands it, because everyone has different situations, everyone has different things going on in their lives.

Lets begin with the dreaded idea of dating as a single mom in the “millennial” time. Don’t get me wrong, having social media at our fingertips has made it much easier to meet people, chat, etc… but at the same time, people now think that if you don’t answer them within a few minutes you are ignoring them or aren’t interested.

Sorry I couldn’t respond to you because I was playing Littlest Pet Shop with my daughter for the past hour or I was making dinner and couldn’t have my phone glued to my hand.

Shit, sometimes I just don’t want to answer my phone because I am constantly on the go. I love social media, but years and years ago it was normal for people to go a few days without talking after a first date, let alone a few hours. Give me a break!

And don’t even get me started with inappropriate texts/pictures being sent. You wouldn’t believe how many times I had to tell some guy that he cannot send me stuff like that due to the fact that I let my daughter play on my phone if we are on a long car ride or out and about and she is “bored.”

Where has the decency in people gone? I ask myself that almost every single day.

Enough with the social media rant, and let’s get down to one of the hardest issues (at least for me). Relationships. I mean actual dating, going out, getting dinner, becoming serious.

All of that is still a mystery I am trying to figure out. For one, not only does it seem like men my age don’t understand what a real date is, they just expect me to drop everything and anything for them to go on this “date.”

Okay, for one, I have a little person who I have to find a sitter for, and not just any sitter, but someone I trust. Because now you can never be too careful who watches your child.

Also, men don’t even  know what a real date is anymore! No, I do not want to go out to a bar and get hammered with you. How about a nice dinner and some chit-chatting, and you take me home, not expecting to get in my bed after the first date? Now that sounds like a good time to me.

However, it’s never like that, nope. I’m not sure how other single moms are doing, but for me it seems like there is never a guy around that understands that I have responsibilities, and those outweigh the importance of staying out until the bar closes while having drink after drink with a guy I just met that night.

Now, I am not trying to bash men here. I’m sure there are plenty of great guys out there that I just haven’t come across yet, but I am just speaking from my last eight years of experience being a single mom.

In the end, all I want, and probably any other single mother wants, is the best for their child, and for myself as well.

While having a relationship is great and all, and seems like it’s becoming one of the most “important” things you hear about today, I am perfectly fine with me, myself, and I (and of course my mini-me), until I feel it deep down that I have found someone worth my time.

It took a long, long, long time to figure this out. I have been through awful relationships, dates, etc. all draining me, and making my self-worth go down little by little, making me wonder if I was the problem.

In the end though, I realized I am not the problem at all, I am perfectly fine the way I am, and there is nothing wrong having high expectations for my daughter and I.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is my happiness, which only I can create, because if I’m not happy I can’t be a great mom.

So if there are any other woman out there, single moms or not, just know you don’t have to settle for just anyone or anything. You control your happiness, and no one else is going to make you feel happier than yourself. TC mark

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