To My Best Friend, I Will Always Love You

 Julia Caesar
Julia Caesar

First of all: I LOVE YOU.

I know I have said it hundreds of millions of times in the many years we’ve been friends, but as we begin this next chapter of our lives, I needed to be sure to remind you. And I will continue to every chance I get.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

There are so many things I want to say to you. So many things I need you to know before we go our separate ways and begin the rest of our lives. You know the scattered mess that is my mind, and you also know the pace at which thoughts are constantly running through it. Here’s a glimpse…

We have basically seen each other every day since we were five. You have never been more than a five-minute drive away.

How are we supposed to survive living in two separate cities? How can you leave when you know I cannot possibly come with you? What will I do? How will I cope?

The reason I don’t worry about you is because I know you will be fine. You will blossom in your new environment and succeed like you always do. Darn you. You will have everyone falling in love with you from day one. You know it’s true.

These are the selfish thoughts that have run through my mind as I prepare for your upcoming departure, but I promise you I DO NOT allow myself to dwell on these thoughts, so they never last very long and they pale in comparison to my feelings of pride and excitement for you.

I am so freaking proud of you. You are chasing your dream. No. You were chasing it, but you caught up to it, tackled it to the ground and showed it who’s boss. I have never been so proud to call you my best friend. You deserve this and you are going to be great because this is what you were meant to do. I am so excited to see your beautiful future unfold. I know you will achieve amazing success and I cannot wait to hear all about it. But this is what I mean. I have to HEAR about it. Not witness it firsthand and experience it with you.

You have been by my side since day one. We have grown together, learned together, and overcome each and every obstacle that life has thrown at us. Together.

We have always been together.

Like Mario & Luigi.
Burt & Ernie.
Batman  &Robyn.
Tina & Amy.
Lorelai & Suki.
Meredith & Christina.
It’s Me & You. The two of us.

We have experienced the joy and satisfaction of completing bilingual diplomas, the excitement of new life and new beginnings, the devastation of losing loved ones, the pain of heartbreaks, and the comfort of always having someone by your side through all the ups and downs. We are the stereotypical, corny best friends whose hearts beat as one. We are soulmates in a friend way and now we must learn to be okay not together (I refuse to say apart, because with a bond like ours, we will never truly be without each other).

One of my favourite things about our friendship is the honesty we share with each other and how we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable without fear of judgement.

So I will be honest now because I know you won’t think any less of me for it… I’m scared. I’m scared to face this next chapter of my life without my other half. I’m scared you will move on and not need me. I’m scared I will crash and burn without you holding me up and supporting me.

But most of all I am scared things will never be the same. Because I know they won’t be.

I don’t mean this in a negative way, but I am forcing myself to face reality which is that we are growing up and moving on with our lives. We are no longer the young innocent undergrads with undecided futures, we are the veteran students, the future nurse and the future lawyer, professional college students.

So as we are on the brink of the future, I wanted to take a moment to write you this because soon we will be caught up in the hustle and bustle of grad schools and eventually full-time careers. I know we will continue to make time for each other, and if anything our friendship will only grow to new levels never before possible!

But right now, in this moment, I wanted to take the time to thank you. Thank you for showing me what it means to be a true, loving, supportive, and forgiving friend. Thank you for always believing in me, especially when I didn’t deserve it and when I failed to believe in myself.

Thank you for reminding me it’s okay to not be perfect while at the same time constantly making it seem as though I was as close to perfection as I could be.

Thank you for ensuring that the standards to which I hold myself are adequate and not drastically lowered as I often do. Thank you for understanding my text messages when they are packed full of typos. Thank you for all the wonderful undergrad memories, both drunken and sober.

Thank you for understanding my never-ending love (need) for Starbucks. Thank you for being one of the most beautiful gifts from God. I would not have made it this far had it not been for you. You are my soul sister and my other half.

I want to clarify: THIS IS NOT A GOODBYE. Nor is it a send-off letter. This is a love letter. A see ya later alligator. A good luck wish. Because you know I am much better at writing my emotions down than I am at expressing them verbally. But you can bet your bottom dollar I will be saying all of this to you again.

Every. Single. Day.

So I sure as hell hope you have unlimited data on your phone and a nice spot for me to sleep when I come visit. Now what do you say we go celebrate? I could use a drink. TC mark

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