Some people believe that the first person you date, fall in love with, or have sex with will be the one you marry. For a very few lucky people that may be the case, but for the majority of us we must go through several types of guys first. No one relationship is the same and it is very possible to love many people in your lifetime. Each one will teach you and mold you so that you become the person who can settle down and marry. The journey will be filled with laughter, love, tears and pain, but it will always bring you out on the other end ready for more.
1. The high-school sweetheart.
The first type of guy you will date will most likely be in high school. How often do we look back and laugh at our newly teenage selves? We would be absolutely in love with guys we had never said a single word to. We would picture how perfect our lives would be and would inevitably be crushed when they started talking to another girl. Our simple worlds were over, we would never love again. Until next week when we noticed someone else and the process started all over. Sometimes we get lucky and that hopeless crush actually talks to us, and then we start our first relationship. We spend a lot of our time convincing our parents how mature and in love we are, that we will absolutely never love anyone else and this is forever. The irritation we felt when they just laughed or rolled their eyes was intense. Notes were passed, movies were watched, and hands were held. Fights were had when you heard that he was partners with some other girl in science class, or heaven forbid he sat next to another girl at lunch. It was a love that was so dramatic and filled with teenage angst. Then high school is over, and you’re not sure what to do. College starts and you notice other guys, you feel as if your former love of your life is in the way of something bigger and better. Just like that it’s over. You’re too busy talking with your girlfriends about who you want to date next to even mourn over the loss of your first “love.” Your first kiss, first taste of love and adulthood is gone and you can’t wait to move on. It’s that simple.
2. The one who dumps you without even giving you a reason.
The second type of guy will come in and go before you can even understand what happened. It will probably be a few guys after your high school love, but those relationships are inconsequential; just guys that you use to hone your makeout skills and flirting. This guy will take your breath away. He will look to you like the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on. Your relationship will start and escalate quickly. You will be talking one day and in love the next. You will be the envy of all your friends; he will spoil you and treat you like a princess. Your parents will worry; they know what’s coming but you tell them they are again being crazy, this guy is your one true love, nothing can change that; they will give you the same insufferable look. Then one day it ends, he might call you or even text and say it’s just not working out. You will get no explanation no closure and it will crush you. Your heart was so innocent when he came into your life and it’s never felt such pain before. You will most likely think you are dying. There will be many long nights of pizza, ice cream and wine with your girlfriends while they try to convince you what a joke he was, it was his loss not yours; but your heart will never again be the same. That kind of innocence can never be returned. You jumped into this with no idea what could happen, I mean you were in love before and ending that hadn’t hurt; but then maybe you realize that wasn’t love.
3. The bad boy who wrecks your world.
The healing process after the last guy will take some time. You will beg for him back, you will spend days going back over every single moment together and try to pinpoint where it went wrong; you will never find it. Eventually your friends will convince you to get back out there. That’s when the next guy will come in and wreck your world. He will be the bad guy, the one everyone warns you about. You will be cautious from the last damage, still fresh in your heart. However this guy has all the moves, knows all the right things to say. Before you know it he will be in your heart. You will convince yourself that everything others tried to warn you about was false. They simply didn’t know him like you did. No one had ever had the bond with him that you do. Things will quickly start to crumble. You convince yourself that this one will not just walk out on you, you will find a way to save this relationship. Your days will become filled with anxiety and stress and tears. You will likely lose a few friends and put a wall between you and your family. There will be moments when he makes you think that all the fighting you’re doing for him is working. It becomes your mission to change and save him. He’s damaged and it’s your duty in life to fix him. Eventually it will end, it won’t end easily nor will it end without collateral damage; but it will end. You will be left, your heart in pieces again, alone to try and put your life together. There will be a lot of apologies and tears but eventually your friends and family will forgive you. And eventually your life will start to be normal again. There will forever be a stain on your heart, you will think maybe there was something else you could have done, maybe tried a little harder but those moments will come less and less as you heal. You will see him in public and you force yourself to walk the other way because you know that even after all that you can’t be trusted to walk away if he were to ask you to stay. He will forever hold a spot in your heart and even after all the pain you will smile when you think of him.
4. The one who’s your total opposite.
Guy number four will take everyone by surprise, he will be your total opposite, and everything you haven’t dated before. There will be a lot of concessions on your part, but after all isn’t true love worth sacrifice? You haven’t been able to get it right before and you rationalize that nothing has worked because you were going after the wrong type of guy. You will give and bend and change everything about you until you snap. You will one day wake up with a sudden clarity that this just isn’t worth it, being miserable in a life you never wanted doesn’t make up for the lack of heartache your other relationships caused. Does this mean you didn’t love this guy? No, you still loved him despite it all and you will still end this with a little less of your heart then you entered into the relationship with.
5. The one who’s perfect, but the timing is never right.
Guy number five might not in fact occur after number four, he could be before. He is the guy who is perfect in every way but the timing is never right. You will probably date him several times and each time despite how compatible you both are neither one will be able to fully commit at the same time as the other. You will often be each other’s rebound or reason for ending other not quite so official relationships. You will be a major part of each other’s lives and will always live with the regret that you just couldn’t get it together.
6. The one who breaks you.
Guy number six, the one who breaks you. This guy will be suave, sneaky, and utterly irresistible. You will think he is way out of your league and be so shocked that he chooses you that you become blind. Your heart has already lost so many pieces at this point that you have to believe he is the one, because if you suffer another heartbreak you just don’t think that you will have anything left to give. So you throw yourself into this relationship. It is after all your last ditch effort to find your true love. You will ignore warning signs that you know as you’ve seen them before. You will accept that things aren’t perfect but convince yourself that it can be worked out. You will fight for this with everything you have and still it will not last. And you will end up broken, jaded and positive that you will never find your true love. Your heart will harden and walls will be erected. You vow to never let anyone else in again, no matter what.
At this point in your life you are so far removed from the girl you were in high school that you have a hard time believing that you were ever that naïve. You cannot believe all the mistakes you made and all the times you allowed yourself to be hurt. You look at the world as a cold hard place. You become the definition of pessimism.
Then along he comes, the man you have waited for your entire life. You can’t even get excited though because you know that you have nothing left to give anyone else. Your heart has been broken beyond repair and there is no way you could ever go down that road. However he doesn’t get that memo. Despite your warnings to him about how broken you are and how you don’t want to be involved he won’t give up. He will see something in you worth fighting for, and slowly you will realize that maybe, just maybe you have one little piece left, one undamaged section of your heart left to love with. It won’t be easy, it won’t be perfect and it won’t be quick, but eventually it will be everything your young high-school self had no idea you needed.