Though it’s easy to buy a sexual lubricant (different varieties are available at drugstores, in specialty shops … or online if you’re shy about your life) … what isn’t always easy is introducing the topic (and use) of lubricant to your guy.
Some women feel embarrassed to mention the slippery stuff—or lack thereof—in the heat of the moment, but they shouldn’t!
Vaginal dryness doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not turned on. Normal hormonal changes during a woman’s menstrual cycle can cause this. It’s also a common side effect of medication—from chemotherapy, to asthma inhalers, to over-the-counter antihistamines. The chemicals in your shower gel, perfume, or the detergent used to wash your skivvies are also to blame.
“I think that there is sometimes a stigma when a woman wants to introduce lube into the relationship,” says Suzanne Kongkeo, Senior Sales & Marketing Manager at Astroglide. “Sometimes the woman thinks a) there’s something wrong with her medically, or b) that her partner’s not getting her worked up enough, but she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.”
Uncomfortable sex is a shared problem, but it’s one that you can solve. Bottom line: There’s nothing wrong with a little slide and glide. In fact, it usually feels very right.
But don’t take our word for it. We asked a few real guys what they think about using lube, specifically if their female partner was the one who suggested it. Their answers were unanimously positive.
Troy, 31, of Los Angeles is pro-lube because he’s pro-communication. “Being able to tell your partner what you like and want in the bedroom is a sign of maturity and trust. Besides, when a woman asks, ‘Can we use lube?’ what she really means is, ‘I’m really into having good sex.'” Who wouldn’t want that?
If a guy’s offended that you want to add something extra to sex, he’s probably immature, says Benjamin, 29, of Washington, D.C. “Any guy who’s insulted that a woman wants to use lube is coming from a place of insecurity and ignorance. Lube makes something good even better. Lots of couples use it for foreplay, whether they ‘need to’ or not.”
Benjamin even admits that some of his best sexual experiences — the longest lasting and most fun — involved a slick helping of lube. He didn’t recall who brought it up first.
“You show me a guy who’s weirded out by lube,” jokes Andy, 27, of New York City, “And I’ll show you a guy who’s … never used lube.” He’s got a point.
Remember — Sex isn’t about one person, and neither is lube. Both partners benefit.