To My Abuser’s New Found Love

Trigger warning: this article contains sensitive content detailing physical and emotional abuse.

To My Abuser's New Found Love
Ryan Moreno

I’m here for you.

I’m here for you on the nights where you’ll feel like it was your fault. All. Your. Fault. I’m here for you on the mornings you’ll swear he’s changed. I’m here for you on the loneliest of days when you feel like the world is caving in and no one can see you breaking.

I’ll be here when he says he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to grab you like that. He didn’t mean to knock you down. He didn’t mean to break skin. To leave that mark. He’s sorry. So, so sorry. I’ll clean you up and take care of you, like he should have cared.

I’m here for you when you need advice on how to cover it up, how to put on a brave face at work. In front of your friends. Your family. Your mom. Don’t mention mom-mom. She’ll see through our fake smiles, but I’ll still be here. I’ll hold your hand, like he should’ve held yours.

I’m here for you when he leaves you in the middle of the highway at 3 a.m. because he’s angry and had way too much to drink. Too much to drink. That’s all it was, just too much to drink. I’m here for you when you need someone to pick you up off of the side of the highway because you’re scared, cold, and alone. It’s dark. You’ll swear he’ll turn around and pick you back up. Where is he? Don’t worry, I’ll be there for you with the heat on and tissues ready. Ready to drive you home. I’ll get you home safe, like he should have that night.

I’ll be here for you when he tells you you’re ugly, only hours after telling you how lucky he is to have a woman like you. I’ll be here for you when he criticizes every inch of your broken body. When he tells you when and what to eat. When he tells you you’re worthless. You’re stupid. You’re disgusting. You’re every word his mother won’t ever hear him utter. I’ll be here at when he tells you to go to the gym. The gym. “Don’t wear those shorts to the gym,” he’ll say. He’ll take it out on you if a man glances your way, but don’t worry, I’ll be here for you. Ready with ice to heal the bruising, the aching from the workouts. From him.

I’ll be here when you need that love that he swears he’ll show you ‘til death do you part. I’ll be here. I’ve been there. TC mark

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