Love is different for every single person. Love doesn’t have a definition. Love is the only thing in this world that can be felt in our minds, our hearts, our bodies, but never truly expressed in words.
Love can take you from spending your days looking at the world through gray colored lenses to all of a sudden having those lenses disappear, to reveal a world that has never looked more clear, more vibrant, and more alive.
That’s the amazing part about love.
But there’s also the fragile part.
The anxiety, the confusion, the sadness, that comes with loving anything is inevitable.
So why do we do it? Why do we, even after knowing how gut wrenchingly painful it can be, allow ourselves to fall in love? Why do we welcome love into our lives, only to know how quickly it can leave?
We do it because we need to. Simple as that. We need to let love into our lives, but more importantly, we need to let it into our hearts.
People are so scared of love that we never want to be the ones to let it in.
We want everyone to be in love with us, but we never want to love back. You see we think being loved is the best part of love, when really it’s the loving someone else that is the best part.
It’s easy to be loved, it’s hard to love. It’s hard to put someone else first, it’s hard to have enough faith to invest yourself, your heart, your happiness, your love into another human being.
It takes courage to make someone else a part of your life and future plans. It’s hard to trust someone else with your memories, your time, and your soul. There’s just too much to lose. Especially when everything, including love, can be so temporary.
It’s hard to be the one person who loves fiercely, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally.
Because when you’re being loved you don’t have any investment, you’re protected, but when you love, you are more than invested, you are essentially giving the most important piece of you to someone else and asking them to keep it safe; your heart. And with that comes the risk of getting your heart broken, and no one wants that, so no one wants to love.
Because when you love someone, you are stuck between giving too much and giving too little. You give too much and you’re making things easy, you’re a sure thing; you give too little, you don’t care enough, or you’re playing games. You can never really win in the game of love. At least that’s what it seems like in today’s relationships.
People wants it easy, fast, here and now, they don’t want to work for it, or truly build a connection with another person. Because building a true relationship takes time, and effort, and choice. Three things that few people-especially 20 somethings who feel the world is at their feet-want to do.
We always assume the grass is greener on the other side. We invest in temporary relationships because THEY ARE EASY. That’s it. We would rather throw away a committed and loyal relationship, for the new and exciting fling next door because we feel like love shouldn’t be work.
Well it is work. Loving someone is work. Relationships are work. True love is work.
And in every relationship you will eventually come to the point where you have to make the choice: put in the work or leave. And sadly, most people will leave. Regardless of the love, regardless of the person, they will run. Because it’s easier.
So if you are a person that can’t accept that real love will never be easy, then you will never truly have it. And for that I feel bad for you, because loving someone else, I mean really working at it, and investing your heart into someone other than yourself, it’s one of the most amazing things we do as people.
And if you have found someone that is willing to put in the work with you, love you, and invest in you, then please don’t throw that away.