In order to understand any relationship we’ve ever had, romantic or not, we must understand this concept.
But what does it mean exactly?
The idea is that we as people, can only give to others what we already have within ourselves. If you don’t feel something in yourself, if you haven’t found something in yourself, you can’t, no matter how much you try or want to, give that something to someone else.
That something can be anything, from simple friendship to passionate love.
It is not to say that those who have found that something are perfect and deserve love more than those who haven’t, no. But rather that they are comfortable enough within themselves to want to share what they have with someone else. And the sad truth is just that some of us aren’t in that spot yet. And an even sadder truth is that some of us may never be in that spot.
But, you need to remember one thing. Just because you’re in that spot and the other person isn’t, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Or them. It also doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stick around and wait for them to get to where you are. Or that you can force them to get there either.
What it does mean though, is that you have something you can give to others and more importantly, you’re willing to give it.
And that is such a special gift to have.
However, sometimes this gift is rejected or left because the person you tried to give it to, for whatever reason, couldn’t get there with you, and that is probably the most crushing truth of this post.
Sometimes you’ll be too far ahead, or not far enough, and you’ll lose people you never thought you’d lose, and it will hurt. But I can promise you, somewhere out there, is someone who will meet you at the depths and more importantly, will want to meet you there.
I can’t even begin to tell you all how important this is to remember anytime you invest in a relationship with another person. We are only able to commit to someone else as much as we’ve committed to ourselves. We are only able to trust someone else as much as we trust ourselves. We can only know someone as much as we know ourselves. We can only love someone as much as we love ourselves. We are only able to meet those around us as deeply as we have met ourselves.
And if you continue to think that everyone you meet will be in the same place you are, you will end up very disappointed.
But, that doesn’t mean you stop investing yourself into your relationships. I encourage you to invest in yourself anyway. To give anyway. To love anyway, regardless of the outcome. Because you have the ability to, and you must cherish that.