To The Guy Who Makes You Walk Yourself Out

If he makes you walk yourself out, slam the door in his face, figuratively. Shut it please, for the both of us. The draft is so annoying.

If he makes you walk yourself out, strut your stuff. Let him see what he is missing because you’re fucking awesome and you deserve more than what this guy never gave you.

If he makes you walk yourself out, don’t slash his tires, he will know it was you. And don’t plot some way to get him back at him, the game is over.

If he makes you do anything, he already has too much control and he probably knows it too.

He didn’t make you do anything.

If he says he is too tired to walk you out in the morning, tell him to go to bed earlier.

If he says to lock the door on your way out, leave it wide open. He can lock it himself. He can get up, he’s a big boy.

If he says to tell you when you get home, don’t, why would you listen or follow his orders? Let him wonder where you’ve gone. Even though you and I both know he just went back to sleep anyways.

He didn’t have to say anything.

Walking yourself out is letting yourself be in control of where you are going.

You don’t need a man to walk you out, to hold your hand down the steep stairs, to open the door for you because it’s nearly impossible to fucking open it.

You don’t need it. You want it.

And while all of it would be nice, to have all these things, – they aren’t necessary. You don’t need someone else to take care of you, you can take care of yourself and you will learn how to.

You want him to be “a man” (as if anyone has a definition for what that is), to put in effort, to text you at 2 p.m. not a.m., you want to change someone who cannot be. You want to work it out, walk out together. But he can’t even fucking walk you to your car, he’s LETTING you cross the street. What are you waiting for? The sign clearly says “GO”. I see you turning your head and looking to see if he’s watching you from his window, he isn’t, stop it.

He’s doing something that is clearly much more important than you. It’s time for you do to do what’s important, for you.

Thank him, don’t actually, because he will be so confused by this and he does not need anymore satisfaction than you have already let him have. Thank yourself too, because now your out of the shittiest-non-existent, fuckery of a mess that was always in your head, NOT RELATIONSHIP because you implied every waking-second you had that YOU DON’T WANT ONE ANYTIME SOON.

He didn’t want anything, he needed nothing.

He didn’t need you, and that’s fine because he shouldn’t.

But think about it, walking yourself out is the best thing that could have happened. You’re free, you’re alone, you’re walking, quietly because you don’t want to wake anyone else, even though that failed- but hey, your doing it!

Start jogging, running, sprinting, depending on your stamina or athletic abilities to wherever you wish to go. You fucking walked yourself out, chucking up the deuce sign if you will.

He didn’t make you, he didn’t tell you to, you did it. Congrats