2015 Is The Year Of The Fuckboy

Shutterstock / Stock-Asso
Shutterstock / Stock-Asso

2012 was the year of “GIFs.”

2013 was the year of the “selfie.”

2014 was the year of “vape.”

And as 2015 is dwindling down I assume that Oxford American Dictionaries will publish something along the lines of:

“2015, the year of the ‘fuckboy.’”

Admit it, you’ve thrown the word around. You’ve probably called someone it, known someone who is, or had an experience with a fuckboy, and if you haven’t, don’t worry 2016 is right around the corner.

Lets face it, they are everywhere but you may not realize how many fuckboys you actually come into contact with on a daily basis.

They are in your sports medicine class, scrolling through an Instagram profile of some booty-tit pictures because they are SO bored trying to get an education for $55,000.

They are on their lunch break, sitting in their cubicle at their nine-to-five job on Wall Street trying to find something to keep them occupied for 20 minutes when they arrive home.

They are in their dorm rooms, fucking your roommate. But you thought she was in the library right… gullible much?

Fuckboys may be hard to spot. They camouflage fairly well in the male population. But do not be mistaken, a 2 AM text isn’t a “I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

If you believe that, I presume the idea that you think Santa Clause still climbs down your chimney on Christmas Eve.

A 2 AM text is a booty call:

“Do you wanna hangout” is not asking if you want to “hang.” It’s an encrypted message of “hey, lets fuck. But after we do I am busy and will have to leave.”

If you receive one of these, you were most likely on the lower end of the totem pole. He has gone down his list of people to hit-up and no one has either a. Responded, b. Told him to go fuck himself yet or c. They already are busy, with another fuckboy of course. (I told you they are everywhere.)

Now, don’t take this the wrong way if you have responded. We have all fallen victim to the crime. You and me both have had our fair share of dealing with fuckboys.

It has come to the point now where I have to sadly address that there are “fuckgirls.”

To the male population a fuckgirl is someone who “wants to bang, no commitment, says shit, but backs out.”

But behind every fuckgirl is a fuckboy who made her that way.

Technology has made it so easy for people’s heads to grow larger than their private parts. People spend hours upon hours scrolling, favorite-ing, liking, texting, sexting (still? come on).

It is more enjoyable in today’s society to have to fight, play games and dance around for what we want rather than actually taking the time to be honest and up front.

The chase is more enjoyable than the catch.

If you are questioning if you are dealing with a fuckboy in your life, he is most definitely a fuckboy.

Trust your intuition, if he is getting texts from “Mike” with heart emojis, saying “I can’t wait to see you later…. We should repeat last night.” Don’t be frazzled, he isn’t gay. He is stupid though; girls know the trick of changing your contact name in your phonebook to shade away their real identity.

We are girls. We aren’t stupid. We are hopeful.

College is prime time for fuckboys- because not everyone is ready to settle down for a relationship, which is fine. No one is knocking on your dorm-room door handing you out their resume for you to be their girlfriend or boyfriend. But someone will eventually will catch feelings down the road and end up being hurt, thinking “it” was going to go somewhere.

“But I didn’t think we were hooking up with other people.” Classic.

“We weren’t exclusive, I thought we were just having fun.” Are you kidding me.

But the best is, “we can still have fun if you want to.”

solidLine

From a girl’s perspective fuckboys are like periods. Extremely happy you got it but ultimately it sucks.

I asked some women what their definition of a fuckboy is, what their experiences have been with fuckboys and I got this:

“They take advantage of girls and make them trust them, then fuck them over in the end. They ruin those poor girls who end up having trust issues and ruin their chances of letting someone in when they are actually the right guy for them.”

“Fuckboys are obsessed with their manhood.”

“I’m not like the other guys”-fuckboys everywhere.”

“You’re the only one I am hooking up with.”

“No emotion, no feelings, just a whole bunch of lies. They just get you really drunk.”

“Fuckboys just make me drink/smoke too much.” Slick.

“I don’t even try to get with kids from school cause they’re all idiots.”

“Fuckboys, they just use people for what they want, and when they get bored they move onto their next victim. It’s a vicious cycle and has convinced me to have no faith in male population.”

Well, if there is one-thing girls can agree on its fuckboys, and they fucking suck.

Don’t shoot the messenger- or that is the writer, which is then me, for laying down what no one wants to admit but ultimately knows is true. Don’t get your panties in a bunch because it is becoming more acceptable to call you a fuckboy.

If you are a fuckboy, cut the shit. You are a trend of 2015 and I hope you end soon because your games aren’t fun, you aren’t hot shit, and your mom still probably does you laundry- embarrassing. You aren’t a mastermind like you may think; you just failed your geography quiz. You are no better than the fuckgirls, the lonely boys, the psychotic girls, and everything in-between.

Stop fucking around. TC mark

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