Why I’m Alright With ‘Sex Selfies’


Once upon a time, the word, “selfie,” was synonymous with 15-year-old girls taking a very up-close photos of their adorable little duck face pout. At the time, it was something that was strictly reserved for millennials, because as we all know, if you’re in that generation, and you’re not obsessed and self-involved, then you’re doing it wrong. And I say this with love, because, depending on what source you read, I’m in that group, too. However, in my case, I usually skip the “selfie” thing; it’s just not my jam.

Not long after the selfie came the “couplie,” a term, just like “selfie” that’s not only self-explanatory, but straight-up annoying. Who invents these ridiculous words? How absurd does it sound when you say out loud, “Hold on a second, we need to take this ‘couplie’ first?”

But now the world is evolving in the ways of taking photos of oneself, and these days we’ve got a little something called a “sex selfie” on our hands.

Sure, we already know all about the naked selfie photos for one intended recipient (who can forget Scarlett Johansson’s nude photos that the whole world saw after her phone was hacked), but with these “sex selfies,” we’re dealing with a real game-changer.

A sex selfie isn’t just a sexy photo meant to tease, tantalize, or even be saved forever as proof that, hot damn, you were hot when you were 29. But instead, it’s either an in-action sex photo or a video taken on your phone (thanks, Instagram, for adding that as an option to your app.) And no one seems to be as down with sex selfies as the Brits.

According to a study by extra-marital dating site, AshleyMadison.com, 71 percent of British guys and 69 percent of the British ladies have taken a “sex selfie.” Once you compare that to sex selfies being taken globally, we’re looking at 60.19 percent of guys and 51.6 percent of ladies joining the party.

Both Taiwan and Japan seem to be jumping on the bandwagon, too. However, France, home of the famous Marquis de Sade, “38 percent of men and 34 percent of women said they prefer the ‘solo sex selfie’ without their partner.” I’m thinking the Marquis de Sade is rolling over in his grave about this fact.

Although I am adamantly against the “couplie,” I’m here to defend the “sex selfie.” Why? Because it’s kinda hot.

While couplies and selfies, in general, are fairly annoying, especially when they’re taking over your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feeds, that isn’t going to be the case with sex selfies. No matter how mainstream they become, the chances of you ever seeing a photo on Instagram of one of your friends mid-coitus, is pretty damn slim.

As Christoph Kraemer, AshleyMadison.com’s European communications director explained, “I would think most ‘sex selfies’ are taken purely for personal use.” And he’s probably very correct in this assessment.

We are all sexual beings. Even those of us who try to pretend that sex is something dirty and shouldn’t be discussed (who are those people anyway?), the fact remains that we all have sexual urges. If taking sex selfies or videos on your phone, consensually, of course, and both you and your partner enjoy it, then why not?

It takes different things to get people off (think Furries and Golden Showers here), and if participating in sex selfies is your thing, then go for it. As long as everyone is onboard and it’s done safely, who are we, or any of us, to judge?

So, according to this writer, and one who has engaged in sex selfies, both photos and videos, I say do your thing.

Enjoy it, have fun with it, and if someone thinks you’re weird, gross or pervy because of it, smile and remind yourself that it takes all kinds … but in this case, you’re the kind who’s having more fun. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


Amanda is a freelance writer for YourTango who divides her time between NYC and Paris She has been published in The Atlantic, Forbes, LearnVest, xoJane, Huffington Post, and many others. Her greatest dream is to win a cheesecake eating contest while holding a baby panda.

Keep up with Amanda on yourtango.com

More From Thought Catalog