Since our last couple weeks of “What Women Really Think …” were all about the outside of guys, this week it’s time to get to the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter is, of course, dirty talk. Do women love it? Hate it? Just never experienced the beauty of it?
You’d think in this day and age where most women are able to embrace their sexuality, admitting they like dirty talk wouldn’t be such a big deal. However, trying to get ladies to come clean about it wasn’t easy. As I do every week, I posted my question on Facebook, Twitter and emailed a handful of female colleagues, friends and acquaintances. I expected immediate responses, but heard nothing. I amended my original question by adding that I’d accept direct messages on Twitter and private messages on Facebook, if that were to help.
Except for one lone wolf, Kate, who openly commented, “Love it and require it. Sext queen,” everyone else took to keeping their thoughts on the matter hush-hush.
Some even asked that I change their first name, because obviously names like Sara and Julie are really uncommon these days, and these ladies would, for sure, be found out and declared perverts.
So, what did the ladies have to secretly tell me about dirty talk?
Bring It On
“I saw your FB post about dirty talk, so I wanted to respond and say … I like it. It keeps me mentally engaged,” says Fabel, 26.
“I love it. The dirtier the better. I am happy to help you with this scientific study,” says Ellen, 27.
Use The Right Words
“Yes, yes, yes to dirty talk. Absolutely. Sometimes, it’s silly and makes me laugh but, it’s usually very empowering using words and phrases you don’t generally use anywhere else. The only time it totally failed in the throes was when a guy asked what I’d do if all the men I had just been on a work trip with had showed me their d*cks…” says Marilyn, 35.
“It’s fun and definitely a turn-on as long as it doesn’t get too wordy or… proper. This goes for both guys and gals: use the ‘bad’ words … don’t use ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’. I’ve had experience with that, and it’s an awkward buzzkill. And commit to it! I don’t care if you’re balding with a beer belly, if you say something nasty to me as if you were a porn star, I’ll believe it!” says Monika, 26.
They Want You To Initiate
“It depends. I’ve come to the conclusion recently that I like talkers. The talk is usually a little dirty, but I’m not sure how dirty. Sometimes they make me blush, but I’m not opposed to that. It’s just lack of experience, I guess. But I like an aggressive man in bed, so the dirty talk kind of adds to it,” says Raquel, 24.
“LOL, I was totally just like, man, I need to send Amanda a message about this, and then I saw you wrote, ‘Are you so embarrassed you’re sending me a message?’ So, YES, I like dirty talk. Not necessarily during foreplay or like, during any other time, but during intercourse, I really dig it. I feel awkward initiating it a lot, but I really like it when my boyfriend does it,” says Caroline, 27.
I think we can pretty much deduce that most, or at least, a lot of women seem to like dirty talk, but these women also appear to not want anyone but their bedroom buddies to know they like it.
That’s cool; I respect that. However, for those out there feeling guilty or even “bad” about dirty talk, stop right there. It takes different things to get people off, and if you want your guy to call you a dirty little slut in the bedroom, then that’s your thing. Embrace your thing.