7 Truly F*cked Up Things About Sex You Probably Didn’t Know About

Shutterstock / Piotr Marcinski
Shutterstock / Piotr Marcinski

Sex is fascinating. It can also be gross, weird, pleasurable, awful, or just straight-up boring. You never know what you’re going to get until you’re in it. That’s why we love it so much. Oh, and orgasms, too. We love the orgasms.

But twisted in all the good, and sometimes bad stuff is the weird stuff. Like the stuff that when you find out about it you can’t help but shrink into your seat and mumble, “What the effing eff?” You jerk back from whatever source has informed you of this news and cringe in both disgust and wonder, all at the same time.

For example, did you know your nose is affected by nookie? Your nose is probably the last thing you think about when you’re getting it on, but just like your vagina and his penis, your nose also swells in size. Because of this, an orgasm can clear out any congestion you might have thanks to those open nasal passageways.

And, did you know sex can actually be lifesaving? Just ask female ferrets. When she doesn’t have sex when she’s in heat, she can actually die.

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, then here are seven examples of WTF sex things that you need to know.

1. Female ejaculation is just pee after all.

The actual “stuff” that comes out of a woman when she ejaculates, or “squirts,” as they say, has long been a mystery. Is it pee? Is it a discharge from an internal river that runs deep in the female uterus, but has yet to be detected by doctors? Whatever could it be?! Well, as scientists announced last week, it is pee.

The study of “squirters” found that all the female participants had empty bladders before they reached arousal, but then “urine collected just before squirting showed that the bladder was filling up.” After the women had squirted, their bladders were empty again and urine samples proved that there is no longer a mystery behind this whole squirting thing. It is urine.

2. Your nose is affected when you have sex.

Your nose is probably the last thing you think about when you’re getting it on, but just like your vagina and his penis, your nose also swells in size. Because of this, an orgasm can clear out any congestion you might have thanks to those open nasal passageways.

3. Different things arouse women’s brains and vaginas.

Although you may think that Channing Tatum is turning you on, your vagina might not agree. In fact, your vagina might be thinking Seth Rogen is the man of the hour. Yikes.

A 2009 study found that what women want and what they think they want, don’t always overlap. Queen’s University psychology professor, Meredith Chivers, took a large group of both men and women, attached their genitals to plethysmographs (it measures internal arousal) and showed them a bunch of different porn to see which ones got women all hot and bothered. Straight women reported no arousal during gay porn scenes or even scenes of chimps having intercourse, however, their vaginas, on the other hand, responded in the affirmative. Of course, this doesn’t mean women want to have sex with chimps, but is does mean that female sexuality is comprised of two separate systems: physiological and the subjective.

4. Sex can actually be lifesaving.

Although this may not pertain to you, specifically, studies have found that if a female ferret doesn’t have sex when she’s in heat, she can actually die. So, the next time you yell out, “If I don’t get laid soon, I’m going to die!” know that for some this is totally a very true statement.

5. Fat men last longer.

In 2010 some Turkish researchers found that the way to get men to last longer in bed is to pump them full of greasy pizza and fries. According to the study, men with some extra love on them could last an average of 7.3 minutes, whereas thin guys had an average time of 108 seconds – less than two minutes. So don’t just eat half the pie of pizza, eat the whole pie, boys.

6. Sex makes your boobs bigger.

If you’re self-conscious about your breasts being on the small side (and you shouldn’t be!), you should take solace in the fact that during sex they can grow up to 25% in size. Between the increase in your heart rate and blood pressure, your breasts swell right up, making what’s usually a handful more than that.

7. More sex means more income.

A 2013 study of Greek households found that those who were having sex more than four times a week were making bank at work compared to those who weren’t getting it on so often. While having sex may seem like the best way to secure that next promotion, it should be noted that happier people have more sex… and money helps to make them happy, and vice versa; it all goes hand-in-hand. TC mark

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This post originally appeared at YourTango.

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