One of my ultimate fantasies, besides having sex in a cab (which is AWESOME, btw), which I will probably never fulfill, is having sex in the office. But since I work from home, tragically, I don’t think I’ll ever get to do that one either.
There’s just something about the idea of it: the sexual tension between you and a co-worker, perhaps the head-butting over client management, and when you go into the conference room alone to argue it out, just the two of you, you have one of those ferocious kisses that you only see in movies. Before you know it, pens and papers are scattered across the floor and you’re having sex on the table. Hello, awesomeness!
If you’ve found yourself fantasizing about getting it on in the workplace, you’re not the first, nor will you be the last because you’re in the majority. EliteSingles, a UK-based dating service, found that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about colleagues, and have flirted with the idea of doing the deed at the office.
Sadly, of those day-dreaming about it, only 21 percent of women say they’d actually do it, compared to 52 percent of guys who are all gung-ho about the idea. Come on, ladies! Don’t you think it would be thrilling to be pinned against the fax machine for some afternoon delight?
Contrary to myths about the photocopier being the place where people what to get down and dirty (and take a photo of their ass in the process), the number one in-office place where people would have sex, for men at least, is in the storage room. Makes sense; it does lock, or at least it should for such a rendez-vous.
Women, on the other hand, seem to prefer the privacy that comes with getting busy in the conference room, followed by their office, then the elevator, although only 1 percent of women have actually done it there. However, the elevator can be pretty tricky if you’re not working in a high-rise. Can anyone have sex between the lobby and the 4th floor? If you can, then I commend you, or feel bad that you’re such a quick lay. I’m not sure which one I’m leaning to the most.
The least desirable place for both men and women to have sex in the workplace are the smoking area and kitchen area, respectively. Good thing! Who wants to mosey over to get their brown-bagged, soggy tuna sandwich and find Zelda from accounting doing the nasty with Johnny from human resources? No one.
If a place exists in the world, there’s a good chance that someone has either had sex there, or at least wants to at some point. I imagine this is true for even things like glaciers, dog houses, and the Oval House, you know, all the most feasible places in the world. But at least having sex in the office gives new meaning to the term a “hard day’s work,” and giving new meanings to things is always a blast.
Have you ever had sex in the office? Which location do you think is most appealing?