I love it when a guy can cook. I love it even more when he cooks for me. Sometimes I think one of the big things that won me over with my husband is the fact that he can not only cook, but cook gourmet French meals, to boot. It’s awesome.
But as someone who actually only cooks a meal maybe once or twice a month, and usually relies on the handy Seamless Web app to sustain life, I feel like a hypocrite saying that I’d prefer him to be able to cook than not. I think his ability to not just be comfortable in the kitchen, but be really good at what he does in there, is just further confirmation of how liberal and forward-thinking he truly is. I love that, and use it to quell my fears about being hypocritical.
I asked the ladies their thoughts on dating a man who doesn’t know how to cook. Is it endearing, because he’s a walking stereotype from 1953? Pathetic? Or totally cool, because you’re the Julia Child in the relationship anyway?
I’m the Julia Child, so it’s cool.
“I’m the Julia Child, and it doesn’t bug me at all! We each have our strengths and hobbies. Cooking just happens to be one of mine,” says Sabrina, 27.
“I’m an aspiring Julia Child and Kyle really didn’t know how to cook, so I’ve been teaching him. He made us dinner the other night and he can make lasagna and bake cookies by himself. He needs help sometimes, but he’s willing to learn and try, which is very important. If he didn’t care and just ate pizza everyday or expected me to cook every time, it’d be a deal breaker.
“I also don’t blame him for it because his parents never bothered to teach him, even though his dad is a pretty good cook. Guys who just don’t care though are pathetic. I just think you should be able to keep yourself alive without take out for at least three days…” says, Amanda, 26.
As New Yorkers, we’re not big into cooking anyway.
“Totally 100 percent cool [if he can’t cook], because I live in New York and eat out or order in anyway. But if he wants to cook, that is nice! That would be a nice, but completely unnecessary bonus,” says Jennifer, 27.
“My husband and I both do not know how to cook. We have come to accept this and have a great relationship with Seamless Web,” says Randi, 35.
“Amen for Seamless! Why cook when we can go out or get delivery?” asks Maddy, 30
If he doesn’t cook, it’s not big deal.
I’ve enjoyed many good meals prepared by my lovers, and I am a competent cook as well. But some of my very important relationships have been with men who don’t cook or… shouldn’t cook. Everybody in my family is a good cook, so I’d rather he doesn’t cook, if he’s bad at it,” says Tracy, 37.
“No biggie. I can cook or we can order in, go out. And he can always pick up a thing or two as we go,” says Sarah, 36.
“My husband had never cooked. He only recently started cooking on his own, since my daughter and I leave for Japan for two months in summer. I don’t really care if a guy cooks or not. Though it would be fun to cook together; I do that with friends,” says Mieko, 38.
It’s all about learning and making at least some effort.
“My husband lived on bachelor chow before we met: top ramen, hot dogs, cereal, etc. When we started dating and I started cooking real food he took an interest in learning and now I’d say he cooks about 20 percent of our dinners,” says Colleen, 30.
“He has to be able to cook at least SOMETHING or be willing to suck at it trying,” say Jen, 36.
“I could handle it if he was willing to at least TRY to learn, and didn’t just expect me to cook all the time. Or, I suppose if he made enough money that eating out all the damn time wasn’t a big deal (and he always paid on his night to cook). Point is, I don’t want to have to be solely in charge of food every damn day! I am incredibly lucky to have married a man whose mother taught him all essential life skills, and he cooks many things well. We each have our specialties and I’d say we split the food prep 50/50. We even split duties on certain things — when making pies for the holidays, he’s in charge of crust and I do the pie fillings,” says Becky, 29.
Nope! He has to be able to cook!
“If a guy is over the age of 29 and can’t cook for himself, at least a few meals, it’s just sad. Not sad in like an English Patient sort of way, but sad in like Showgirls sort of way,” says Kate, 31.
“It was cute when we were dating. Not so cute anymore!” exclaims Kelsey, 33.