I’ve Finally Learned To Put Myself Before Any Man

I have a long history of encountering men who clearly believe that their lives are far more important than mine. It is their opinion that their wants, desires, and needs are worth more than my own.

I’m sure this statement comes as no surprise to the women who are reading this. As females we are raised to accept this as a simple fact of life. We learn early on to softly walk on the eggshells that are men’s egos and to simply accept our place.

For some of the men reading this, I’m sure it’s to them nothing more than my own crazy, or inaccurate view of how things actually are. God knows that I cannot possibly speak truthfully about my own experiences because, well – I am a woman. Things such as hormones, boobs and the ownership of a vagina mean that men tend to believe that I misunderstand, misinterpret, or simply not get what is happening to me at any give point in time.

Here is the thing though, and I hate to break it to you but…

I am more than you give me credit for. I am wild and complicated. I am full of fire and passion to which you have not even begun to understand.

I am far more than you will ever be able to comprehend. I have depths you could only dream to discover. You saw parts of me, but you did not see enough.

I have held myself together as all around me fell apart. I’ve been the pillar supporting my family though trials and tribulations that would have torn through even the strongest of bonds. I have endured hardships that you will never realize. Loss is a feeling I know all too well.

I have looked death straight in the eye and told him to go to hell. I’ve fought and clawed my way back from the edge using nothing more than my own will.

I am a goddess. I deserve the moon and the stars and I reserve the right to walk away from anyone that isn’t giving them to me.

When it comes to love I deserve far more than mediocrity. My love should be wider and deeper than any known ocean. I should be able to freely bask in the endless supply of affection instead of sitting around waiting for my cup to be filled. I should not have to beg, nor wait for attention or affection.

My job, my place on this earth is not to ensure that you receive everything you want when it comes at the sacrifice of what I need.

I refuse to apologize for seeking my own happiness.

I will not feel bad that I take the initiative to worry about my own health and happiness above that of someone else. My life is not yours. I’ve spent far too long worrying about other people, it’s time I start worrying about myself.