I want us to be a source of anticipation and relief. I want us to be each other’s favourite company, the afterthought after a long day of work that brings a smile to our faces as we realize what awaits when we reunite at home.
I can see it in your eyes. Just consider my proposition and don’t leave. Let your inhibition recede and please, stay here with me.
He looks at me now, knowing fully I have brushed aside his caution. There’s no going back now; we know it. He orders more drinks and we move between each other’s tales. At this point, the contents become blurred because the damage was already done. He had my intrigue and curiosity and I was fully entrenched into his story.
She looks up and finally spots me. She waves me over as I hurry towards over. There’s too much enthusiasm, too much excitement for proper welcoming exchanges.
The new cities you dream of won’t solve anything. They too are restless and lonely. It’s not as adventurous or as novel as you may imagine. The constructs you have created, the expectations you have foolishly upheld, will only make you disappointed when you realize what awaits you.
I hardened. So much that I never really opened up to you. I think you met me amidst a transition. I am not sure who I was when our paths first crossed.
It’s the apology I was never able to give you in the moment when it mattered the most.
It’s the dreams you never had the courage to follow, it’s the lies you tell yourself as an adult.
There’s something different about today. There’s something off-putting and bothersome. You can sense it in the emergence of your annoyance and impatience.
We’re the manifestations of what antidepressants promise but can never achieve.