This Time I’m Falling In Love With Myself

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Caroline Hernandez / Unsplash

Itโ€™s a narrative we all know too well. We meet someone of novelty and get enticed. Thereโ€™s something different about them, something intriguing that pulls us in. They are different than the past mistakes we encountered or thatโ€™s what we tell ourselves. We ignore the warning signs, that cautionary flashing yellow that warns us to slow down but we proceed ahead past the light as it transitions to red, ignorant and blinded by love.

Then it happens, the heartbreak shatters us into pieces.

It consumes us, leaves us bedridden and drenched in a sea of tissues and tears. We should have foreseen this outcome; we should have not proceeded so hastily without reflection.ย Amongst the cycles of affection and misery, we didnโ€™t pause to think what made the assembly line of love so bleak.

Itโ€™s a narrative we all know too well but this time I say enough.ย I say enough of the roller-coaster of pain. I say enough of the endless anguish. I say enough of repeatedly devaluing myself. I say enough of allowing those not worthy of my adoration into my heart. I will not permit it. I will not permit my insecurities to leave me in such a vulnerable state. I will not permit my heart to be exploited leaving my wounds open for another harvest. I will not permit another imposter to falsely try to save me with their affection.

This time Iโ€™m pulling myself up by my own reins. This time I am putting myself first.

This time Iโ€™m falling in love with myself.

This time I am digging through the vast uniqueness of my personality and discovering novelty. I will be enticed by my own capabilities and potential. I will be enticed by all of the untapped goals and dreams I put on the back burner in pursuit of people that did not matter.

This time I know I matter. This time I know of my value. This time I wholeheartedly believe in the beauty of my soul. I will not doubt myself. I will not allow suffering to penetrate this strong-willed heart. This time the narrative will be re-written into a story of self-love and self-appreciation. This time is my time to resurrect and connect with my true self. TC mark

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