There’s always a strange line to balance when it comes to standards. If your standards are too high, you risk losing out on the potential of something great. If your standards are too low, you risk setting down for something far less than you deserve. There’s no clear balance on where to draw the line, but there are a few universal standards that arguably we all can rid of.
Having Everything in Common
Shared interests are a great starting point for any relationship but in this case, we are talking about extremities. Too often we uphold commonalities to an unrealistic standard. It’s okay to not want to do everything with your significant other. It’s okay not to have every interest and hobby shared between the two of you. The best types of relationships are not founded on shared interests entirely, but on shared principles and values. Instead of looking for someone who is just like you and admires the same things as you, look for someone who shares your values but is different enough where you can learn from them. Even if someone doesn’t like everything that you do, as long as they are willing to learn and try new things, they are worthy of lowering your standards for.
Rigid Expectations of Career and Finances
Statements such as he/she should have x career and make x income are archaic. These types of expectations are too rigid and burdensome. They are also unfair in the stereotypes they reinforce. For example, one might say they want someone in business and makes 6 figures. The underlying expectation is looking for someone who is ambitious and financially secure, which are fine things to desire. However, it’s an unwarranted assumption to expect that only ambitious people are found in the business world. Expectations around career and finances can be loosened to include the same idea of principles and values but without the clearly defined labels. A more realistic expectation might be finding someone who is passionate and driven about what they do and financially responsible. It’s still a standard, but one flexible enough to apply universally.
The Idea of Perfection and Holding Yourself to the Same Standards
The idea of perfection is complete bullshit. It’s human nature to be flawed and any dating expectations should incorporate that reality. If you have certain traits that you are unwilling to compromise on then ask yourself, do I posses those traits myself? Am I also financially responsible? Am I making x amount of money? Do I dress well? Am I literate about x topics? Am I physically fit? If you expect certain things in a partner, it’s only fair to hold yourself to the same standards you have of others. Otherwise, the hypocrisy will get you nowhere.