For When You Are Not Okay

When you are not okay, I want you to read this. I may not be here for you always. I may not be here, in the literal space next to you. I may not be able to comfort you or hold you with my own arms, but I will heal you with my words and give you the greatest resilience I possess.

It’s okay, it’s okay. Whatever you are feeling is okay. Hush, don’t explain yourself. You don’t owe anyone that. Feelings aren’t meant to be explained or understood, they are meant to be experienced. So go ahead, give in to your emotions. Relax the constraints, stop holding back. Let it out. Cry, let those tears flow. Scream if you must. Let the sorrow find its escape. Let the weight off your shoulders. No one is here to judge you. It’s your time now. It’s your time to feel.

I know it’s been tough. I know it’s been a long day, a long week and possibly even more. You’ve been harboring all of this pain for so long on your own. It hasn’t been easy right? No one understood, no one could see you suffering. You just internalized and smiled because you had to. You had to survive if not for yourself, but for others. You endured and endured until the burden of concealing was just too much and you began to unravel.

I know you’re scared. I know you’re scared for many reasons. You are frightened by your emotions and how they have overtaken you. You’re disappointed with yourself for unraveling. You think you are weak. You question how you let things get this bad and if they will ever get better. You doubt yourself because you think you’ve failed everyone and everything.

But you haven’t failed me. You never have or will. Instead, you are making me proud because being this honest and this raw doesn’t make you weak; it shows how beautifully strong and brave you are. I know you won’t believe me at first, not in this vulnerable state. You’re too consumed in the act of feeling to rationalize my prescriptive narrative and that too is okay. Just remember that as you struggle, relief is on its way. You are not unraveling in emotions, instead you are liberating yourself from whatever and whomever pains you. You don’t have to hide anymore or apologize. Just give in to the emotions. Curl up in a blanket and lie down. The worst has passed. Feel that? Do you feel the pain withering into the air? Deep breaths now, you are almost there. Just close your eyes and let solace in. This is how it will get better; this is how you will heal. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Leanne Surfleet

I have thematic discussions with my inanimate monkey.

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