10 Ways Facebook Is Psychologically F*cking You Up

1.

These days we are convinced that likes=love. No likes today? Nobody loves you, obviously.

2.

And if the person you like/love/are secretly stalking doesn’t like your shit, then they don’t like you as a person and all hope is lost that you will ever be together.

3.

Facebook is turning us into narcissists. Why is it absolutely necessary that you have to post every goddamn photo of you dancing at the club last night? This is egocentricity at its best. Do you really want to be THAT girl?

4.

Because you are spending so much time taking selfies to post later, you hardly get to genuinely enjoy yourself and actually live in the moment for once. Are you really having fun for yourself, or are you just posing for an audience?

5.

In general, Facebook addicts are procrastinating more and more. Even if you have something important to do, you end up getting lost in the doomed black hole of Facebook. Once you are there, you can never leave. Zuckerberg wins again.

6.

When you spend hours watching how others’ lives are going, you will start to compare yourself to them. How did she get engaged before I did? Everybody is losing weight and I’m just over here like “I just ate a whole box of Twinkies.”

7.

That awkward moment when you send someone a message on Facebook and you can see when they read it. About twenty minutes ago. Rejection is harsh, even in the digital age.

8.

The miniature anxiety attack you get when you send someone a super important message on Facebook and the dreaded “…” shows up, on and off, for another fucking twenty minutes.

9.

Finding the perfect profile picture, and the cover to go with it. This will surely bring on a bout of obsessive-compulsive symptoms. And the worst part is that everybody on Facebook is watching your struggle.

10.

Finally, the insecurity and utter betrayal you experience when someone tags you in a picture without your consent. Did they seriously not see that your eyes are half-open? Especially if you catch it days later and everybody who is anybody has already seen it. Can I just crawl in a hole and die now?