person touching gray surface

My Dance With The Devil

You almost had me fooled, but your mask slipped and your scales showed. I was lying next to you, thinking you loved me, when all along you only loved yourself.

I almost missed it in the masterful confusion you created to keep me by your side. I wanted to believe the good in you, so I let you back in, choosing to see your goodness instead of the darkness of your depths. I ended up betrayed by my own naivety—a harsh reality to swallow, but I’m chewing it up and spitting out the fire of what’s left at your feet.

There you were, saying one thing, doing another, and trying to convince me it was my fault either way. I almost didn’t feel you trying to slowly break me and mold me to bend to your twisted needs. But then I saw it. I saw you, the real you—uncovered and empty. Sucking away my pureness with your slippery words like a parasitic insect latched onto my soul. Unmasked and not so appealing in the open air, and that’s when I knew—I had danced with the Devil and won.

The bible calls narcissists “evil and children of the devil.” Leading with self-righteousness and unyielding to anyone standing in the way of their sick game. Like a leech looking for its next host. But when you picked me, you didn’t know that beneath the layers of the weaker version of me ‘needing’ your love was a lion queen that soon wouldn’t.

You didn’t know my strength. You underestimated my courage. You downplayed my power. So I stand here at the end of your ambush attempt, grounded in me and in God. And I dare you to try again against this lion queen backed by an endless ancestry of other fierce lion queens who came before me, ready to put you in your place.

Your weak attempts to use women for your own gain won’t work on me any longer. I see your weakness behind your failed attempts. I see your insecurities behind your anger. I see your need to control like a small child behind the grown exterior.

I’m grateful to God for saving me from what could have been a brutal future with you. I no longer need those lessons, and the only man I need is God. So I figured out your game and was strong enough to walk towards Him and away from you.

God placed me as his warrior to win the battle against your dark side and put you in your place, which is far away from me. And now you can scurry off with your tail between your legs because I will find a love deserving and worthy of my heart and soul, and you will end up alone to question your dysfunction in a room full of empty corpses sucked dry.

Alyssa Torres, CO writer telling stories of relationships & healing.

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