My Vagina Against The World

Little Black Book /
Little Black Book /

About a month ago I went to the gynecologist for the first time ever. The appointment ran smoothly and they said they would call me if they found something from the pap and if I don’t get a call that means good news. I walked out of there feeling violated but also relieved that I wouldn’t have to be back for a while.

Fast-forward two weeks. The gynecologist calls me up; I am immediately sure that I have an STD. Yet instead they inform me that they’ve found some abnormal looking cells on my cervix. Nothing to worry about and they will check up on them when I come back in a year. My mom didn’t take the news quite as well: after telling her, she freaked and made me fetch a copy of the results. She Google searched “low grade squamous intraepithelial lesion,” the big elaborate medical term that I apparently have (fancy sounding, I know). Maybe I can tell my biochemistry teacher that the reason I failed my midterm was because of my low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesions, I think to myself, trying to stay positive. Finally after tearing apart Google search, my mom is confident that this in fact not a death sentence. Once she figures that out she decides to focus on what she now deems to be the more important question at hand: How I acquired it.

The Internet was not my friend that day. It informed us of the three and only ways one can acquire a low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion:

  1. Vaginal Trauma.
  2. Multiple Sex Partners.
  3. HPV.

So there I am, reading “multiple sex partners” with my mom, as she asks me which of the three caused this. Well Mom, let’s think….Ah, yes, my vagina has experienced some trauma – probably not the type that you’re thinking of though; the term “beat the pussy up” comes to mind but that’s a story for another day. And yes, there have been multiple sex partners, like…MULTIPLE… and no I have not been safe every time, which leads to the obvious fact that I may indeed have picked up HPV at some point in my life. So, Mom, what I’m trying to say is: all of the above.

At this point I’m certain my Mom thinks I’m a slut; her response was a sigh as she resignedly walked away. I text my closest friend letting her know that I most likely have HPV. Her response? All adventurous women have it. And you know what? I am an adventurous woman. I am sexually experienced and not afraid to admit it. Yes, I have made mistakes when it comes to sex, but is there anyone who hasn’t? Yes, my mistakes may have given me HPV but I’m not going to sit around and cry about it. The world is a large, LARGE place and I am doing the best I can to defend my little lady.

The only lesson I’ve learned here is to be more aware of your body. Half of my friends have never even been to the gynecologist, which means they could have some low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesions lurking around their cervix too. It’s time all of us women suck it up and get our asses to the gyno; it’s time we all find out the truth: that we all aren’t perfect.

And for any guys reading this: WRAP IT UP. I have heard every excuse in the book for why a guy can’t wear a condom. Ladies, remember: we own men. In fact this article should be titled, “My Vagina CONTROLS The World.” As soon as you assert yourself and let it be known that you’re not going to spread your legs for any man unless he wears a condom, he’ll be begging to put one on. So ladies: smarten up, use your brains and be safe so you don’t end up with low-grade squamous intraepithelial lesions and a disappointed mother like I did. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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