I Wish I Loved You More When I Had The Chance

I wish I loved you more when I had the chance

How long has it been since you said goodbye? I don’t know. My time stopped and as I try to remember everything that happened from that moment on, I only see blurred flashes of memories. I see silhouettes of your smiles, echoes of your laughs and shadows of moments together. I really wish I loved you more when I had the chance.

I wish I held your hand a litter longer when we were together. I wish I held it long enough to memorize how it felt cause I forget how it did. I wish I remember how it looked or how I used to see my universe formed from your palm lines. I wish I remembered. Maybe it wouldn’t make this longing break my heart to pieces. Maybe you’d miss mine too. I wish I loved you more when I had the chance.

I wish I arrived an hour early instead of an hour late. Maybe with that time with you, I could’ve said the words that would make you stay. I could’ve said the words you needed to hear. I’m sorry. I wish I loved you more when I had the chance.

I wish I said “I love you” five or 50 times more. I wish I shouldn’t have stopped myself from saying “I love you”. Love isn’t supposed to have a limit, but I did.

I wish I told you, “five more minutes” every night when you walked me home. Five more minutes to talk about anything under the moon. Under the stars, we would create the constellations of our future together and it would have been the perfect moment to spill to you that you are my wish-upon-a-shooting-star. As you talked, I should’ve looked at you and memorized the details of your face when you talked about something you were passionate about. You should’ve seen mine when I talked about you. I wish I loved you more when I had the chance.

I know you are happy and well and that our love didn’t matter to you as much as it did to me, but if the clock could ever reverse, I would love you more.