The Truth Is When You Lose A Loved One, You Lose A Bit Of Reality

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When you lose someone, especially someone that was a constant source of love and support, your reality changes. Your faith is tested and you no longer have the familiar source in a physical state.

Whatever you believe in, after losing someone of significant impact, you may be pushed towards hope or hopelessness. The fact remains that you are not in control of this person being apart of your life anymore. It can be unbearable. Change is hard enough when it’s by choice. But by having a main source of unconditional love completely cut off, it pushes you to either replace that source with a distraction or find a way to live with without it.

Perhaps I’m stating the obvious, but death is something very difficult to not only talk about, but put into words. So I’m trying to put into words what I’m feeling and what you may be feeling too.

Most of us will face tremendous loss at some stage in our lives. For some, it’s not until later in life. For some, it’s very early on. I’m not sure one is necessarily better than the other. But death forces us to grow in ways whether we are ready for it or not. So I think it all depends on where you are in your life.

Whether we like it or not, we’ve entered into a new reality. A reality where someone that meant so much is no longer a physical part. A source of love has been cut off. 

What is truly incredible, is when you can still feel that force after this person has passed. But still, it’s different.

So you grieve, you accept, you move on. Or you don’t. These stages take a different amount of time for everyone.

So where am I going with this? 

Death is ugly. Death is sad. Death is hateful. Death is confusing. Death is final. It comes hand in hand with beauty, happiness, and love. We lost what was beautiful, what made us happy, and what we loved.

The good comes hand and hand with the bad. So maybe you’re feeling hopeless, afraid, and alone. But perhaps you should shift that energy back into what came before those feelings; feelings of hope, strength, and support. Those positive feelings you were so lucky to share and experience with your loved one.

So choose love. Love yourself and love those around you. Make an impact wherever you can.

Time is something none of us are guaranteed. No matter where you are in your life, tomorrow is not promised.

Make this moment count, right now. TC mark

Alyssa Lynn Malmquist

Writer, Masshole, Scorpio, Actress, Middle Child.

Do you long for more meaningful connections with the people in your life?

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In Put the Damn Phone, Alyssa Malmquist tackles where we’re at in 2018 with technology, communication, self-image, sexism, social media, and the increasingly rapid change we’ve experienced alongside growing technology.

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