When It Feels Like All Of Your Friends Are Picking Their Relationship Over You

@wander_travel_dream

What’s more important? Your relationship with someone your “seeing” or your relationship with your friends? I guess it depends on the strength of the friendship or how exclusive you are with the person you’re dating, fucking, or both.

But why is there this stigma that after getting into a relationship the person dies and consumes nearly all their time with their significant other. I can only speak to the female perspective, but, I’ve witnessed this with both genders. When a guy gets into a relationship his bros through him a funeral. When a girl gets into a new relationship she starts blowing off her friends wanting to spend every waking second with this new guy. Although this is most of what I have witnessed, I think this can be interchangeable between both genders.

When we meet someone new, this feeling of excitement becomes overwhelmingly present, so overwhelming that it can occupy most of our time. It’s new, stimulating, and it’s happening now.

Personally, I have always put my friends first. Perhaps that would change if I found myself in a relationship that lasted more than two months. I don’t know. I’m trying to be objective, but I have never put a guy before my friends, even when friends have put guys before me. I’m not programmed that way. But just because I am programmed that way doesn’t mean someone else has that same point of view.

There is no reason your friends should be pushed to the side for a potential new man or woman. But, that’s coming from me, someone who is chronically single. Maybe I am so single because I value my friendships more. However, sometimes this may not be so clear to others. And we can’t necessarily write someone off because they got caught up in the excitement of a possibility. Their experience is situational to them.

Relationships come and go and with the age of technology, I find couples trying to fight more and more to be seen as perfect. Whether it’s lavish vacations or lengthy explanations, a lot of it seems ingenuine. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with how happy others seem we unconsciously try and replicate that into our own lives.

Try not to be judgmental. We all want happiness, even if we don’t know what that looks like. More so when we don’t recognize what it may be, we confuse it with what our perception of happiness is.

The point I’m trying to make is maybe you shouldn’t push your friends to the side for a new beau but still, inevitably, its going to happen with certain people. And being on the receiving end of that feels like shit.

But it doesn’t have to tear your friendship apart.

Try and look at the situation from both sides.

And if you’re on the other end of that, remember this. Your friends are there for you before, during, and after your relationships.

You can have your friends AND your new relationships. You don’t have to choose between the two. The key is balance.

Balance will leave you with a much deeper sense of fulfillment. You can have your cake and eat it too, small bites though. TC mark

Alyssa Lynn Malmquist

Order my book "Put The Damn Phone Down" available now on Amazon.

Do you long for more meaningful connections with the people in your life?

What if we simply put our phones down and connected again as humans?

In Put the Damn Phone, Alyssa Malmquist tackles where we’re at in 2018 with technology, communication, self-image, sexism, social media, and the increasingly rapid change we’ve experienced alongside growing technology.

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