So what’s holding you back? Did your friends tell you to stay away from him? Did they advise you to ignore his calls and texts if he reaches out? Did they warn you that you’d be better off without answering him? Is this guy known for being a certified douche? Do you know of multiple people he’s already slept with? Does he tell you straight up that he’s an asshole or a fuckboy? Has he warned you that there is no way he would ever want anything serious with you?

Maybe you consider him an asshole. Maybe you consider him a fuckboy. Maybe these labels are what your friends consider the guy. Then again, maybe he isn’t any of those things. But that’s not important right now. What is important is to ask yourself, what do you want to do?

I am not asking what your friends think you should do. I am not asking how you interpret the opinions of others. I am not asking you what makes the most sense to other people.

I am asking you, what do you want to do? Right here and right now.

So maybe it’s never going to go anywhere this guy. You need to fully acknowledge and accept this.

But once accepted, why the fuck not?

So you probably aren’t going to get anything long term with this guy. That’s real. But do you feel captivated by this guy?

If the answer is yes, why not enjoy the company of someone you have undeniable chemistry with?

I think a lot of females can get into trouble when they don’t accept this. They become hopeful and think of ways that would change the scenario down the road. They think things will change and become disappointed from expectations they have set. And trust me, I get it. I’ve been there before. You are not alone.

But listen. If it hasn’t happened yet with the guy, it’s probably not going to. Things are most likely not going to change.

It is possible to have just a physical connection with someone. And that can be confusing, especially if you don’t feel that chemistry often. But it is possible and it just may be the case with this guy.

But you’re both single. Why should you cut yourself off from lust and affection just because you don’t happen to be in a committed relationship?

People in relationships shouldn’t be the only ones getting laid. And guys shouldn’t be the only gender getting laid.

Once you accept that nothing is going to happen with this guy, there’s no reason you can’t still embrace an infrequent sexual relationship.

So go ahead, hook up with the asshole. And then leave. Don’t look for his attention but if he reaches out or you end up at the same spot, what happens next is up to you. Do what you want.

Down the road, you may end up with someone for the long haul. But that time is not now. So enjoy the time you have now learning everything there is to know about yourself. The focus should be on you. Be self-aware. Try not to take things personally. Embrace your flaws and imperfections. Conquer your insecurities.

Love when you can as often as you can.