An Open Letter To Young Women: I’m Sorry Society Has Failed You

As a late twenty-something, I find myself frustrated for the younger generation of females growing up in a world where botox, lip injections, and filler have become a normalized expectation to meet the unrealistic beauty standard of perfection that women are expected to uphold. After filters and editing software sparked our interest, we invented procedures that match these graphic creations.

I’m sorry that you’re growing up like this.

When I was a teenager, makeup was the go-to for women to cover up and look more beautiful, but now with the help of reality television and social media, it’s more about doing everything humanly possible to try and halt the aging process.

Today, trying to become more beautiful has gotten so ugly, and I’m sorry about that. I remember the pressure I faced as a female from a very young age to focus on my appearance. I was so focused on hating every part of my body and face to notice that none of this applied to males.

The double standard was that as a female, I had to look a certain way if I wanted boys to talk to me, and as much as we’ve progressed, we have a larger group focused on regression that motivates self-obsession over self-expression.

For many women that wish to change everything about themselves, it stems from this pressure directed by males to look and act a certain way to meet their standards. Right now, we don’t have enough people fighting this.

Many of these med spas do the exact opposite and actually brainwash you into thinking that changing everything about you is self-love. They use taglines like “relaxation” and “self-care” to distract you from the needles and the scars. These normalized procedures are nothing but a flimsy band-aid that mirrors what we think will make us beautiful and therefore desirable. This behavior pushes you into a life of constantly trying to fix and cover up anything and everything that will distract you from growing older. Ironically, it’s the complete opposite of self-love. Your mindset will be focused on the past without allowing yourself to embrace and fully experience what’s in front of you. Even worse, it’ll allow superficial judgment and never-ending comparison into your life.

Young girls, I’m so, so sorry about that.

I don’t think it’ll be easy, but I hope to motivate you to be yourself. I hope to empower you to ignore the pressure of outward perfection we face as women. We’re losing uniqueness each day we try to emulate what we see online and those around us. Starved stomachs, blown up lips, sunk-in waists, stretched out skin, and painted faces don’t look beautiful, they all look the same. And it’s all motivated by the notion of pleasing people other than yourself.

I challenge you to please yourself and make decisions guided by your instinct.

I challenge you to love yourself—all of you.

I challenge you to make changes that focus inward.

I challenge you to love your imperfections until you no longer see them as imperfections.

I challenge you to accept healthy pressure to change within and deny the pressure to change for someone else.

I challenge you to express yourself for yourself.

I challenge you to choose self-expression over body obsession.

Instead of choosing to obsess over outward appearance, live in the moment and accept every stage—and age—of your life.

Don’t conform to the unrealistic beauty standards that are being injected into your peripheral. Love every experience of your evolution and let all of your changes be motivated by you.

Young girls, I’m sorry, but know how beautiful you truly are not by how you appear online but by the impact you have on people around you.

Beauty is whatever the hell you want it to be.

Young girls, I’m sorry, but I hope that you will do better today for the young girls of tomorrow.

About the author
Order my book "Put The Damn Phone Down" available now on Amazon. Follow Alyssa on Instagram or read more articles from Alyssa on Thought Catalog.

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