Netflix’s Wine Country allowed us to reconnect with some of our favorite women in comedy: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Paula Pell, Rachel Dratch, and Ana Gasteyer. In this Netflix original, their girl gang had managed to stay friends for more than twenty years, proving to be more relatable than you’d expect when you’re looking at your current group of friends. There’s the friend that works too much, the friend that chooses the asshole that everyone hates, the friend that tries too hard, the friend that isn’t always honest, or the friend that makes everything a joke. Whether you relate to one or all, we’re all human, and flaws are a part of the package. Friendships aren’t meant to be perfect, but they do make life a little less hard and a little more fulfilling. No matter your age here’s some advice on friendship from women in their 40s:
1. Age is but a number
You’re never too old. Period. If you’re alive, you’re age appropriate to make the most of your time with the people who matter. Take advantage of every moment you get to let loose, have fun, and spend time with the people you care about.
2. Talk to each other
Talk to each other instead of talking about each other. Gossip is sometimes inevitable, especially when your lives are intertwined, but it only increases your chances of a misunderstanding. You can’t expect to get the whole story or begin to understand someone without being direct.
3. Make time for your friends
Make time not because you have to, but because you want to. Time with your friends is good for your soul, unlocking the freedom to act without fear of judgment.
4. Friendship goes beyond relationships
Your friends are there before, during, and after your relationships with boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, marriages, sex-friends, or whoever. Treat them as such.
5. Be honest with your friends
When life gets tough, it’s temporary. Don’t trick yourself into keeping it a secret from the world, thinking it’ll make it any less real. Being honest with your friends, especially about things you may not want to deal with, is that much more important to share with your friends. They’ll support you through to the other side.
Get off your phone. The people that matter most are right of you. Immerse yourself into a reality you can touch.
7. Go on vacation with your friends
Make an effort to plan time away with your friends because it’s vital to your well-being. Going on a trip with your best friends will bring all of you back to a care-free place without responsibilities.
8. Dance to the oldies like no one is watching
Nothing is better than the music that became before the editing, that’s disguises itself as perfection today. Throwback to whichever year transports you back to a past time that you wish you could go back to.
9. Get over your shit
Get over your shit, so you don’t end up taking it out on your friends. They don’t deserve to be a punching bag, and your rational self knows that.
10. Sometimes fighting is the only way through
No one wants to argue with their friends, but sometimes it’s the only way to lay everything out on the table and move forward. If you’re going to fight, make sure it’s worth it. This is your time to be completely forthcoming.
11. Nothing good comes from the phrase “can I just say something”
Don’t talk about your friends to other friends, it always comes out one way or another. If something is really bothering you about a friend, face it head-on. You’d want the same in return.
12. Friendship is family
Blood is not the only connector of family. You may not get to choose all of your family, but you do have the power to choose some.
13. Sometimes your friends know best
Your friends know you inside and out, without wanting anything in return. They love you for you, and in wanting the best for you, they can sometimes see the best. Make choices for yourself but take their input into consideration. The only thing a true friend hopes for in return is to see you smile.
14. Life is too short to wait for anything
Don’t postpone anything, the time to share is the time you have. The only moments that are certain are right now.
15. Your secrets come out one way or another
Tell your friends everything, they always find out eventually. Make your life a little easier with transparency, and you’ll strengthen your friendship in the process.
16. Trust your friends
Trust yourself by trusting the people around you. You chose these friends for a reason.
17. Brutal honesty is honesty
Don’t ever be offended with honesty, no matter the extreme. It comes from a place of love.
18. Friendship makes the hard times just a little bit easier
Life happens, and sometimes it’s unbearable. Even if your friends aren’t able to solve your problems, they remind you that you’re not alone and that you are loved.
19. Friendship makes celebrations worth celebrating
Success doesn’t mean much if you don’t have people to share it with.
20. Good friends make you a better friend
Surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you, and love you endlessly for it.