I’ve been broken one too many times, and then I broke again. I’ve grown resentful and hopeless. My time seems consumed with dread as I’ve started to fixate on the worst in people. I’ve assumed the worst in people after facing rejection time and time again. I’ve lost meaning from things I found meaningful. I feel like I’ve lost myself in others abandoning the person I should be taking care of the most. I’ve been loved with hate and forgot what I loved.
I feel sad about feeling sad. I know what it’s like to be silenced with silence. I fear of worry after being shocked with shock. I’ve been blindsided with things that were right in front of me the entire time. I’ve been hurt by hurting other people and then made choices that have hurt myself. I’ve shared my energy, my body, and my thoughts with the wrong people, time and time again. I’ve evolved, but then I’ve retracted. I’ve figured out that I don’t have it figured out.
I so badly want to feel something good. I want to see the light within my darkness. I want to believe that there is light. I don’t want to be fooled with tricks. I don’t want to be lied to with lies. I don’t want to feel used, and I don’t want to feel worthless. I don’t want the negative to outweigh the positive.
I want to feel optimistic, and I want to feel positive. I want to be better than I am, better than I was, and better than I will be. I want to be better than I think. I want to be stronger than I am. I want to be worthy of worth. I want to influence what’s right. I want to be loved with love.
I want to be loved back to life.