Modern Dating Is Turning Into A Job

person using phone in front of open book / Unsplash

As technology has progressed, we’ve become increasingly lazy in several areas of life that involve communication. The one I’d like to tackle in this article is dating.

For many, dating now requires you to fill out an application, like a job, almost. And then you’re interviewed or judged upon with further questioning.

Going back to the very core of human substance I think what we all inevitably long for in life is simple: love. We either crave from experience or become obsessed through film and television.

We all want it.

But, we’ve been pushed into an age of technology, where we are no longer using the innate skills that attract someone in the first place that can only be interpreted in real life interactions.

We are bypassing important steps. We are no longer relying on in-person instinct but wasting valuable time aimlessly scrolling through dating profiles and filling out dating applications ourselves.

I think many of us today feel as if there aren’t other options; if you can’t beat em, join em.

But the thing is, there are other options. Long before the smartphone era, people were meeting naturally. And my theory is that authentic connections were more common then than they are now.

But now, many of us are dialed into a digital world where we believe that this is the most advanced way to meet people, to follow people, to know people.

What we need to remember is that the digital realm is a perception, an often-altered perception. When looking for an organic connection or someone you want to share your life with, you are capable of finding that in real-life.

It may just not be at the pace you want.

It’s natural to look around at certain relationships close to you and want that for yourself. But first, remember that’s also a perception. Secondly, your time will come.

We’ve got to slow it down, at least just a bit. We are living in a world where answers and options are abundant. Shortcuts have advanced and become easily accessible to everyone. But by taking constant shortcuts and trying to rush through a pile of dating profiles is more than likely to leave us with an outcome mirrored from the same effort put in. It’s likely we’ll be unable to fully register the details we’re even actually taking in.

There are people out their that long for genuine and authentic connection. But likely you aren’t going to make that connection you long for through a device. You’re going to have a better chance of finding it by being more present, disconnecting from your phone, and using the part of your brain that creates spontaneous thoughts and expression.

To hear more about my take on how technology has impacted dating and relationships, get your copy of my book “Put The Damn Phone Down.” TC mark

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