Following heartbreak, you often hear some people complain about how they were blindsided. They wish they knew. They wish they had been warned, because then perhaps they would not have gotten so invested or grown real feelings.
Although this is my opinion, I think almost every person that claims this unrealistic desire is full of shit.
People gain reputations, much more easily judged off of the bad. When you do good, you don’t always get the recognition you deserve. When you screw up people notice more and almost always remember.
I have been warned against so many guys I’ve lost count, usually, because they actually were terrible for me and is was that obvious. But I didn’t care. And why should I?
I’m sorry but how fucking boring would it be if every relationship you had was just planned out and you knew exactly what to expect? Perhaps I’m more adventurous than most but still, people can’t actually want this right?
So someone has a reputation as an asshole, maybe they are an asshole. Or maybe they were mislabeled. Or maybe they were an asshole to someone. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
In a world where miscommunication has grown exponentially due to the increase in technology, go find out for yourself. In person.
If someone has the ability to make you feel good, make you feel happy, and make you feel wanted, of course, you are going to be drawn to that.
Maybe you are being used. Maybe he’s just playing with you. Maybe you are being manipulated. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I am not saying that every labeled asshole isn’t an actual asshole. Maybe he is. It’s probably more likely that he is. But none of that matters.
We’ve got to stop trying to plan everything out and wasting energy into wishing we could prevent anything bad that happens. Bad things are going to happen. Good things are going to happen.
What matters is that you learn from your relationships. You learn what feels good and you learn what you want.
I’m also not saying you should go after these asshole types over and over again. Do as I say, not as I do…
Be grateful for the shitty relationships and the assholes. Those relationships teach you and help reveal your true self. You’ve got to be open. You can’t waste your energy on complaining or wishing you could turn back time. You can’t turn back time. But you can learn. You can move forward. You can leave that bad relationship behind.