Millennials are constantly hooking up and breaking up. Break up’s come in many forms these days. One person involved could experience a break up while the other person just got bored and didn’t see a point in further communicating. We’re all scared and we don’t always know how to rationally deal with someone entering and exiting our lives. Losing someone you regularly communicated with hurts and there are numerous ways girls choose to cope. It is easier to bypass negative feelings by filling your time with some of the ways below.
1. Word vomit.
I think we’ve all been there. Our friend has gone through a break-up and just can’t stop talking about her ex-man to the point of madness. She complains to the point of exhaustion yet still can’t get enough out. The conversations start to go on replay and you wonder what the point of even giving advice is at this point. It can seem endless and extremely frustrating to endure. Don’t be that girl. Let that shit go. Remember you broke up for a reason, and most importantly, you two are over.
2. Get drunk and get with a rando.
No judgements, do you. However using this as a placeholder for your disappointment and pain will inevitably leave you feeling more lonely and discouraged than before. If this becomes habitual to block out the ex-guy you will miss him more and prevent yourself from moving on.
3. Stalk him.
So you convince yourself you’re over him and you happen to see his face on your timeline regardless of which social media outlet you happen to be glancing. You wonder who he’s with and feel like you are actually still communicating with him. You are not. This toxic behavior completely stalls you from even starting to move on.
4. Label him a fuckboy, asshole, etc.
Although this may give you initial relief and temporary satisfaction, tearing someone else down with negative labels speaks more to your character than theirs. Maybe they are an asshole, a fuckboy, a cheater, or manipulative prick. That’s their own problem if this is the case. They will eventually tear themselves down, you don’t need to associate or drag yourself down with him.
5. Expose and/or exaggerate his flaws.
You start exposing your desperation by pinpointing details about him whether it be his looks, his body, or his personality. You tear him down to temporarily push yourself up. Know that you do not need to do this. It only extends your heartbreak and points out that you do still truly care and are holding on.
6. Try and be friends while hoping for reconciliation.
Being friends with an ex is a great thing for some people and I believe it can even work. But that defines on your term of a friend. Friends do not mean still hooking up. This will absolutely further damage you and leave you confused. Being friendly and staying in constant contact will not allow you to move on but rather open the need for hope. You believe things are going well so you start to believe that things could eventually get back to where they were. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment and self-destruction. It ended and as hard as it is, you must accept it.
Instead of defaulting to the toxic behaviors above, what you truly need to do is move on. This way leaves you feeling stronger when reacting to a breakup. Allow yourself to experience these negative feelings, don’t momentarily brush them off. Accepting heartbreak and disappointment and being able to deal with it in a rational behavior will not only help you grow as a person but will leave you indestructible.