If You’re Doing These 7 Things In Relationships, It’s No Wonder That You’re Still Single

Kalen Emsley
Kalen Emsley

1. Coming on too strong.
When you meet someone new and there is a connection it can so thrilling. The excitement of receiving wanted attention from someone can be so addictive that one person can start to come on too strong. This can be detrimental to creating a stable foundation for a relationship, especially if you are skipping steps and jumping too far ahead of yourself. Excitement is good; it is one of the greatest feelings to indulge in. Just make sure that you are both on the same page and moving at the same pace.

2. Acting too needy or clingy.
Having the need for constant contact can be a huge turnoff. Relying on another person for 100% of your happiness well inevitably leave you disappointed. You have to make time with yourself, your friends and family, and your personal interests. Your happiness cannot be entirely dependent on one person. An equal balance will leave you fulfilled in all aspects of your life.

3. Jumping into relationships for the sake of being in a relationship.
We all know the “relationship type.” The ones that are always in a relationship, then single for about 12 hours and then suddenly their social media account has updated you with their new significant other. These people are always in a relationship and tend to convince themselves and everyone around them that this one is “The One.” As I mentioned, time with you is important. In fact, being single allows you to fully embrace yourself and figure out what you like and what you want to do. Don’t be afraid to be alone. When you are not in a relationship, take advantage of the opportunity you have to learn as much as you can about you.

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
― Diane Von Furstenberg

4. Cyber stalking.
The age of technology has really made it harder for us to ignore irrelevant information about a person. Today we look back at pictures of ex’s or obsess over whether your better half is in contact with other females. Intense jealousy is toxic and will prevent any shot of your relationship going any further. A lot of women know that but it is not always followed. Don’t obsess over his past, everyone has a past and relationships that came before you; let this stay in the past. Don’t consume yourself with what he’s doing now, if he isn’t being true it’ll come out. Don’t be the one that is creating a problem where there isn’t one.

5. Lies.
Lies will always come back to bite you in the ass. The timing varies between people and quality of the lie, but things always have a way of coming out. Lying to the person you are in a relationship or lying to yourself will eventually hurt you. If you’ve cheated, there is most likely a reason you cheated. It doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but it does mean that you owe it to yourself and the person you are with to be upfront and honest so both parties are able to make a real decision going forward. If you are lying about the way you feel, it will catch up to you to the point you will no longer be able to hold it in. Once released you may be worse off rather than you would have been had you expressed your true feelings from the start.

6. Wanting or thinking about someone else.
If you are still hooked on someone you have ended things with let me remind you that it ended for a reason. It doesn’t make it any easier, it totally sucks, but it is the truth. Don’t fight your true feelings but rather allow yourself enough time to wholly move on from this person. The more you try and fight it, the longer it will take to you to completely get over that person. If you jump into a new relationship hoping that it will cure you of your heartbreak it will only multiply this emotion. You will not only end up hurting yourself, but also hurting the person you have started a relationship with. You are not able to give yourself fully when you are still attached to someone else. It is not fair for one half of the relationship to be entirely committed, while the other person is partial.

7. Not loving yourself.
It just doesn’t work. You can’t love someone else until you love yourself. This can’t come from happiness from another person, but with happiness that starts inside of you and is fully about you. You are unique and there is no one else out there like you. Be you and when that special person comes along, you won’t have to change a thing. TC mark

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