1. Last one in the office this week. So you think you’re special because you’re the only one still at work this week? Guess what, you’re the 10th person to send me this Snapchat and you’re not getting on Santa’s “nice” list this year. At first I felt bad for you workin’ folk, but now I’m just annoyed because you think you’re better than me. I hope you get coal for Christmas this year.
2. Santa hat selfie. If I get this Snapchat one more time, I’m going to lose my mind. Santa hat selfies have been floating around since November 1st. Santacon was almost two weeks ago. You really couldn’t think of anything more original? Shame on you.
3. First snow of the season. I didn’t know you were a meteorologist. Have you never seen snow before? Do you think this somehow makes it closer to Christmas? I kind of get it because I love snow, but I don’t need you to tell me it’s snowing outside. I’m capable of turning on the local news, checking the weather app, or looking out my window, but thanks for the weather update.
4. Public Holiday decorations/Christmas Tree lightings. Again, nothing new to see here. We love that you think we haven’t gotten this on our Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter feeds yet. Are people supposed to be envious that you’ve voluntarily subjected yourself to a sea of tourists just to witness something you could watch on TV or read in the paper? Not impressed.
5. Family selfies. This is basically the modern day version of a family Christmas card. Even though this ones pretty overdone, parents attempting to use social media in any form is hilarious. Adults trying to take a selfie is even better. Bonus points if you use an over-the-top filter.
6. Your holiday beverage. News flash: I’m not interested in looking at pictures of your gingerbread latte. I don’t care if your latte art is in the shape of St. Nick himself. If you’re even thinking about sending a red Starbucks cup, please take a long, hard look at yourself and repeat the following words, “no one cares.”
7. Animals in Christmas outfits. No one can resist a cute puppy with its tongue out, especially when it’s rocking a Santa suit and matching antlers. This look in human form is essentially every dude at Santacon, but swap in a pet and this is easily the best of the Holiday snapchats.
8. Christmas cookies. Wholly unoriginal, but if I’m going to be receiving the same snaps over and over again, they may as well be of food. Deduct one point if they’re ginger bread men though, because those guys are basic AF.
9. Holiday-themed bars. Sending a virtual pat on the back to anyone who snap chats me a Holiday-themed activity, particularly relating to bars and drinking. Good for you, friend, you’re doing something festive AND social at the same time. Way to multitask, you savvy millennial! Take away the decorations though, and you’re just another poser trying to look cool at a bar. Sorry bro.
10. Anything with “All I Want For Christmas Is You” lyrics. You’re just the worst. No further explanation required.