It was five o’clock on a Friday when your name appeared in my g-chat list.
My mouse hovered over your name as I toyed with the idea of starting a conversation. I tried thinking of something to say to you – maybe pretend I meant to chat another person instead. “Sorry, wrong conversation.” It all seemed so stupid.
I stalked your name on my screen until the clock struck 5:30, when you signed off and probably went home for the day.
The next Monday, I came into work around 9. When I logged into g-chat, there was your name, staring at me with a bright green dot beside it – inviting and friendly. Maybe you had waved a white flag, a friend suggested. But that was unlike you.
You never used to come into work before 10. What were you doing there so early? Maybe your hours changed. Maybe you just had an early meeting. Maybe you forgot to sign out the night before, so you were still logged in. But that made no sense, the night before was a Sunday, and I saw you sign off on Friday.
Were you also drinking watered-down office coffee because it was free, same as mine, or did you opt for the more desirable choice like Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Did you still drink your coffee black, or did you finally soften and add a little bit of cream? Were you also avoiding your emails to stare at the name of a person who you used to g-chat almost everyday? Or had you forgotten me?