I Won’t Throw Away My Own Life For Your Love

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Brooke Cagle / Unsplash

I read a romance novel about a girl who loved a boy. She loved him deeply. So deeply, she would do anything for him. Even throw away her own life to be with him. And she did. She lost herself because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

He had a dream, and so did she. They were two different people with two different lives who were needed in two different places. To achieve her dream, she needed to stay where she was, and to achieve his dream, he needed to go somewhere else. And just when she was about to stay and achieve everything she’d ever worked for, she went with him. She didn’t get her dream, but that was okay because she got him.

It was romantic and as far as I know, they lived happily ever after.

But I need you to know, I am not that girl. I never will be.

I will never throw away who I am and everything I have ever wanted in order to keep you. And if that makes me unromantic, then so be it. I’m unromantic. Because as much as I love you, I love me, too. 

I love myself too much to lose myself in someone else and I believe in myself too fiercely to forget who I am. I’ll be me and hopefully, that’s enough for you, because if it isn’t then you’re not enough for me.

I want you to love yourself, too. I want us to fall in love and be the people we were meant to be, and still be meant for each other, too. I want us to support each other in everything we do and love each other for who we are, instead of loving each other for what we’re made to sacrifice. I want us to love each other, but I want us to love our life, too.

We’ll never consider each other selfish. The thought won’t even cross our minds because we’ll want each other’s dreams as much as we want our own. We’ll love each other for who we are, and we’ll believe in each other more than anyone else. It might not always be easy, but it will always be real. Because we’ll be real because we’ll always be ourselves

You’ll love me for me, and I’ll love you for you, and together we’ll love the life we’ve built.

If it means we’ll have to do long distance while we become who we’re supposed to be, we’ll do it. For as long as it takes because our love will be strong enough withstand it. Our love will be strong enough to withstand anything. Our love won’t be a romance novel, and that will be my favorite thing about it.

Because life isn’t a romance novel, and I don’t want it to be. I’m no heroine, and I don’t need a hero. I just need a guy who loves me enough to let me love myself, too. TC mark

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