What It’s Like To Love Someone Who Is Emotionally Unavailable

Flickr/Alagich Katya
Flickr/Alagich Katya

He’s not one of those guys I plan on falling in love with; he didn’t come straight out of a Nicholas Sparks book. It didn’t happen right away, it took me months before I noticed his existence and his character. But after sometime, without a warning, without a caution, between inhaling and exhaling, it just occurred to me, I’ve come to love Him.

He has those beautiful eyes, the kind you could get lost into. Deep cold and warm at the same time. Maybe it’s the reflection of his heart, where bitterness and hope lies; a hope to love again and to be loved in return. 

He stands with a perfect posture showing his playful nature and amiable character. His shoulders display firmness and gentleness; the one that can carry a burden and can still be your safe haven. 

He’s ignorant to these feelings I have for him and it’s alright, He has flaws and all, but I still like him just the way he is. I like him too much that I choose to keep it a secret from him, because I’m afraid that everything will change once he finds out the truth. But I want to thank him for his very existence brings happiness to others and he doesn’t even know it. 

He experienced deep hurts and loss, but I hope and I pray that He’ll find his happiness once more. Watching him hurt himself through his vices, seeing him suffering is really a painful sight.

I want him to be happy.

I want him to get out of his own labyrinth.

I want him to be free, to be alive again, to laugh and love with great delight.

I want him to stand up and continue to walk.

I want him to realize that these hurtful things he has experienced have their own reasons of happening – that they can be shared to others to make him realize that he is not alone.

This is why I choose to hide my feelings; for I know they won’t do any good. What he needs right now is a friend – a friend who will support and encourage him to continue living the good life he is blessed with.

You know, sometimes loving someone doesn’t always involve telling I love you and such, maybe it’s how you show them how you love and care for them. 

And yes, loving you this way is painful, but at this period of time, it’s enough for me to know that you and I exist at this moment. And maybe someday, if time permits, I will confess and tell you I love you, but not with the intention of hearing it back, all I want is to make sure you know. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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