Mad Men starts its final season this Sunday, April 13. Following are more than 50 of the best quotes from the show, from advertising wisdom as opined by Don, to advice for the lovelorn from Joan; Sally’s musings on life to Roger’s zingers, and more.
Don: “We should get married.”
Midge: “You think I’d make a good ex wife?”
Of course I love you. I’m giving up my life to be with you, aren’t I? Pete
He may act like he wants a secretary but most of the time they’re looking for something between a mother and a waitress. And the rest of the time, well… Joan
Go home, take a paper bag and cut some eyeholes out of it. Put it over your head, get undressed and look at yourself in the mirror. Really evaluate where your strengths and weaknesses are. And be honest. Joan
Now try not to be overwhelmed by all this technology. It looks complicated but the men who designed it made it simple enough for a woman to use. Joan
The reason you haven’t felt is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me…to sell nylons. Don
The day you sign a client is the day you start losing him. Don
Those purses get any smaller, we’re going to starve. Ladies’ Bathroom attendant.
Don: Let me ask you something, what do women want?
Roger: Who cares?
If you don’t like what is being said, then change the conversation. Don
Remember, Don…when God closes a door, he opens a dress. Roger
(To Joan) You are the finest piece of ass I ever had and I don’t care who knows it. I am so glad I got to roam those hillsides. Roger
Peggy, just think about it. Deeply. Then forget it. And an idea will jump up in your face. Don
This is America; pick a job and become the person who does it. Bobbie Barrett
(To Peggy) You’re never gonna get that corner office until you start treating Don as an equal. And no one will tell you this, but you can’t be a man. Don’t even try. Be a woman. Powerful business when done correctly.Bobbie
(To Peggy) You want to be taken seriously? Stop dressing like a little girl. Joan
I have been watching my life. It’s right there. I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can’t. Don
This is ridiculous. If I’m going to die, I want to die in Manhattan. Pete
Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.Don
Well, one day you’re there and then all of a sudden there’s less of you. And you wonder where that part went, if it’s living somewhere outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize, it’s just gone. Peggy
(To Pete) Help yourself…not the Stoli. Roger
Sally: I’m sorry I broke your suitcase.
Don: Find out how much it is to repair and it will come out of your allowance.
Sally: I don’t have an allowance.
Don: Then don’t break things.
(To Don) You have everything. And so much of it. Peggy
(To Betty, in a dream sequence) You’re a house cat. You’re very important, and you have little to do. Betty’s dad, Eugene.
Kinsey: He might lose his foot.
Roger: Right when he got it in the door.
The truth is people may see things differently, but they don’t really want to. Don
(Working on a pitch for Western Union)
Ken: I love getting telegrams, but I never send them.
Don: How is that supposed to help?
“Well, he knows how to leave a room.”
Suzanne Farrell’s brother
(After the JFK assassination)
Trudy: Have you been drinking?
Pete: The whole country’s drinking!
(Giving a speech at his daughter’s wedding) Can someone please get my wife out of the kitchen? I have something very nice to say about her. But while we’re alone… Roger
She died like she lived. Surrounded by the people she answered phones for. Roger
Get out of here, all of you. Go chase a hearse. Roger
(On Betty, her mother) She doesn’t care what the truth is. As long as I do what she says. Sally
Sally: It doesn’t really bother me except for it’s forever. When I think about forever, I get upset. Like the Land O’Lakes butter has that Indian girl, sitting, holding a box. And it has a picture of her on it, holding a box. With a picture of her on it, holding a box. Have you ever noticed that?
Glen: I wish you wouldn’t have said that.
Well, I’ve got to learn a lot of peoples’ names before I fire them. Roger
(On Don) We’ve created a monster. Burt Cooper
They say as soon you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem. Don
I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean I guess. Roger
(To Don) I hope she knows you only like the beginnings of things. Faye
Don: Miss Calvet and I are getting married.
Roger: Who the hell’s that?
You’ve never seen me throw a party. Everyone is going to come home from this and have sex. Megan
Men don’t take time to end things. They ignore you until you insist on a declaration of hate. Joan
Sometimes we don’t get to choose where our talents lie. Don
Peggy: “I think she’s good at everything. I think she’s just one of those girls.”
Joan: “Then you had every right to be hard on her.”
Jane wanted a baby but I thought, “Why do that to somebody?”Roger
They make wine for Jews. And now they’re making one they want to sell to normal people. Roger
Am I the only one who can work and drink at the same time? Peggy
Ginsberg: I feel bad for you.
Don: I don’t think about you at all.
(At The Natural History Museum)
Sally: How’d they get all these animals?
Glen: Teddy Roosevelt killed them.
Sally: Do you think they were a family?
Glen: I hope so. Otherwise what were they doing? Walking around saying, “We just need a baby to finish this diorama?”
Meet me in Africa. Glen
You’re a woman and you smoke. What do YOU want? Ted
You don’t know me. And I don’t know you. We just have the same problem. Beth
Don: What are you doing here?
Adam: I lost my job when I died.
“My mother wore a girdle all the time and she always had a stomachache and I always thought, “You’d rather have a stomachache just so dad will like you?” Sandy
(To Don) That poor girl. She doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you. Betty
(To Don, in a dream sequence) Dying doesn’t make you whole. You should see what you look like. Private Dinkins
What, I’ve got nothing interesting to say because I’m not on drugs? Ginsberg
It’s my job to take them to dinner at 80 miles an hour. It’s my job to stop a mile from the restaurant so they can have five pounds of crab legs and three bottles of beer apiece and then go get prime rib. It’s my job to go hunting so they can fire off their guns an inch from my ear and laugh when I get startled because It’s. My. Job. Ken
Don: I know you’re all feeling the darkness here today. But there’s no reason to give in. No matter what you’ve heard, this process will not take years. In my heart, I know we cannot be defeated, because there is an answer that will open the door. There is a way around this system. This is a test of our patience and commitment. One great idea can win someone over.
Peggy: That was very inspiring. Do you have any idea what the idea is?
Ted: I have to eat something.
Don: Doesn’t ice count?
Los Angeles is not what you see in the movies. It’s like Detroit with palm trees. Don
Well, you know what they say about Detroit. It’s all fun and games till they shoot you in the face. Roger
(To the Hershey executives) I was an orphan. I grew up in Pennsylvania in a whorehouse. I read about Milton Hershey and his school in Coronet magazine or some other crap the girls left by the toilet. And I read that some orphans had a different life there. I could picture it. I dreamt of it – of being wanted. Because the woman who was forced to raise me would look at me every day like she hoped I would disappear. Closest I got to feeling wanted was from a girl who made me go through her john’s pockets while they screwed. If I collected more than a dollar, she’d buy me a Hersey bar. And I would eat it alone in my room with great ceremony…feeling like a normal kid. It said ‘sweet’ on the package. It was the only sweet thing in my life. Don
(On “sparing no expense” to catch their mother’s killer.)
Pete’s brother: When you think about it, it won’t bring her back. She’s in the water. With father.
Pete: She loved the sea.
Ted: Someday you’ll be glad I made this decision.
Peggy: We’ll aren’t you lucky. To have decisions.
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