We try so hard to be this person that is perfect for that one you love.
You see them get annoyed? You stay quiet. You see them get angry? You apologize. Every damn time that they walk into the room, you blame yourself for anything and everything that is bothering their mood. Every problem they come in with is carried now as our own. And you shouldn’t have to apologize for trying to love and help someone who is supposed to love and help you back.
We’re too attached to leave, but too exhausted to stay. It’s the memories of “what it was like in the beginning” that gives us the motivation to keep searching for that in a person whose intentions have changed. The pain of going from waking up with that secure and loved feeling to questioning if anything was ever real at all is excruciating. It can take someone a short day or even hours to completely change and decide that they want to leave. That’s the hardest part. Real love doesn’t change within the span of time- but the difference between what is real and fake seems to have us fooled.
It’s funny- the way we apologize to the people who broke us. We put our happiness in their hands, but after they broke it they look to us for an apology. Well, we evaluate every imperfection we have and blame ourselves for the crumbling of a relationship that we built all on our own. Our apologies are only meant to mend the bond we shared with them while we ignore the broken pieces of ourselves.
We deserve more.
We deserve to have someone to dance with in the crowd- not someone who sits at a table, waiting for the next opportunity to leave. We deserve someone who will share a beer with us- not someone who will leave us on a Saturday evening only to have you to carry them out of the bar in the middle of the night. We deserve someone who makes us love every moment of life that is spent together- not someone who makes us feel like they’re always waiting for us to leave. We deserve to have someone who loves how we love them- not someone who calls us crazy for loving them in a deeper way than they’re able to understand. We deserve someone who means what they say, and commits themselves to working toward a future together- not someone who begs for space and pushes us away the more we try to love them.
We do not deserve to be treated any less than the treatment that we give.
The only thing we must realize is; the more time we waste on the people who don’t deserve our love will mean less time we have with the people that do. The pain of leaving will be much less than the prolonged pain that comes with staying.
Being in love isn’t supposed to hurt.