1. The Nostalgic
Although her wedding took place 35 years ago, The Nostalgic can’t help but reminisce on the day. She begins by saying the memory is “such a blur,” but follows up with an entire play-by-play, highlighting miniscule details.
Get ready to sit through flashbacks about a day that took place before you were born. Ever wonder what time the sun rose on her wedding day? Just smile and nod—it will end, eventually. Yes, she will break out the photo album, which mostly features cracked, yellow, aged glue in lieu of 20% of the photos.
2. The Debbie Downer
So much in life has happened since you were coloring partners in Kindergarten: endless pool parties, your first high school dance by each other’s side, the big moment where you told her every embarrassing detail of your grotesque first kiss, and you even started driving the same week. You two just do life together.
Now, you’re getting married and she—well, she is still on the market. Get ready to hear her sob stories and to experience jealous rages of fits. Do yourself a favor, and don’t make Debbie Downer your Maid of Honor (unless your wedding colors feature an envious shade of green).
3. The Adviser
The Adviser has been married more than once, which makes her a wedding expert (in her mind). She essentially picked out your dress, your jewelry, and your first dance song before you even changed your Facebook status to engaged. You thought that was bad; the next day she designed your entire Pinterest “Wedding” board, complete with over 200 pins. Perhaps, she is living vicariously through your wedding, or maybe she’s just a control freak. Both are risky: You have been warned.
Unfortunately, Bridezilla is no longer the only wedding-day monster. Maybe it’s because she insisted on footing part of the bill, but Momzilla thinks your wedding day is hers.
Get ready to expand your guest list to include 80 of her “closest” friends. If your venue is at capacity, you will be forced to slash your guest list, making way for Momzilla’s minions. Does your groom really have to invite his great uncle? Good luck with this one; Momzilla is a strong contender in the bride battle.
5. The Supporter
The Supporter sees your goals, understands your dream, and knows you better than anyone. She is talented at lightly critiquing that dumb idea that pops into your head last minute. She talks you out of bad choices and steers you in the right direction. She is patient, observant, calm, and would do almost anything to make sure your wedding day is special! Hallelujah for The Supporter. Ask her to be your Maid of Honor ASAP before she has to steer you out of another bad decision. YOGOMOH! (You Only Get One Maid of Honor).