Cheating is the biggest nightmare that could ever possibly happen in Relationshipland. The sad reality is that many otherwise good-natured people find themselves pulled into the temptation of the infidelity trap. Dating apps and social media have given all of us better access to connect with attractive strangers. Therefore, we have more opportunity to wander off the reservation.
Statistically, men are more likely to cheat than women. That does not make women impervious to cheating by any means. Up until this current generation has reached its prime, “open relationships” were unheard of. Now that they are a cultural norm, dating now like the Wild West. Finding a partner who turns you on physically and then stays loyal to your emotional needs can seem like finding a needle in a haystack.
If you are a level-headed human being, you will not waste any time or effort on someone that you know for a fact will eventually cheat on you. This is why it is best to get familiar with the personality traits of cheaters to take heed.
I have, in fact, encountered these personality characteristics myself. And no, this is not from men who have cheated on me, but who have cheated on their girlfriends with me. In most cases, I was completely unaware he had a girlfriend until after the fact.
Furthermore, I have a handful of male and female friends who have cheated in their past relationships. After collectively sharing my personal experiences with theirs, I have been able to compress certain commonalities of cheaters of all kinds.
1. They have an insatiable need for excitement.
People who cheat often believe that life should be fun every waking moment. Their number one fear is boredom, routine and they have a serious case of FOMO. They may say things like “life is too short” or share “Carpe Diem” memes on their social media accounts.
What they don’t realize is that relationships can be boring by their very nature. Repeating the same routine of having sex, watching Netflix, and talking about each other’s days becomes habit after a few months. This is difficult for some people to tolerate.
Understand that they don’t cheat with the intention of leaving you, they just simply want to relish in the “fun” lifestyle.
2. They have a sense of entitlement.
Unfortunately, this is a symptom of the stereotypical millennial. Those with a high sense of entitlement firmly believe that their boyfriend or girlfriend must satisfy all of their needs on a constant basis. If they can’t, the cheater will believe that they are not holding up to their end of the bargain. Oh yeah, and it won’t matter if they aren’t satisfying your needs.
People with an inflated sense of entitlement often cheat after an argument or disagreement. They can’t believe that you have made them upset. So in their mind, it’s not wrong to find comfort in someone else’s embrace.
3. They are highly impulsive.
People who are highly impulsive have the inability to think ahead and objectively weigh the consequences of their actions. They want to see themselves as spontaneous so that means that they must act on whatever random idea pops into their head.
4. They have big egos.
Cheaters often have a streak of narcissism to their psyche that is hard to miss, unless you are so naive that you chose not to notice it. They are selfish and can only sympathize with their own thoughts and feelings. Did you have a bad day? They had a worse one two years ago. Did someone close to you die? They will change the subject in that conversation.
Not only will they minimize your concerns, but if you are not showering them with compliments or telling them how great they are, you better believe that they will go seeking that validation elsewhere.
5. They are flakes.
Cheaters have an aversion to making (or following through with) solidified plans with you because the potential of something better is always on the horizon. If you feel like your girlfriend or boyfriend is keeping you on the back-burner, chances are that someone else could be on their front-burner.
6. They have lied to you before about little things.
Since cheating is the ultimate act of deception, they need to practice to see how good of a liar they really are. Oftentimes, they will test you to see if you believe their bullshit story about what they ate for breakfast.
Although someone being a liar doesn’t necessarily make them a cheater, you cannot be a cheater without being a good liar. Being a good liar comes with practice.
A common lie that cheaters will tell you when they plan to go in for the kill is that “they need space” or “time to themselves” even if you only see them, say once a week. This creates the perfect opportunity for them.
7. They are shameless with no concern about the way they are coming off to others.
At first, shameless people are over-the-top hilarious with their clown-like antics. They are lively and entertaining but proceed with caution if you are dating someone who needs to be the center of attention.
Shameless cheaters are a breed who see absolutely nothing wrong with commenting about how much bigger your sister’s tits are than yours to your face after your mom has said grace at Thanksgiving dinner. Nor do they see anything wrong with feeling up your buddy’s biceps after “thanking” him for his service in the military. Ask yourself this: “If my boyfriend (or girlfriend) is doing this right in front my face, then what are they doing when I’m not around?”
These types of cheaters are attention mongers and cannot fathom the thought of being ignored.
8. They get psychotically jealous at anyone of the opposite gender in your life.
A certain level of jealousy is natural in a relationship. Especially if this pertains to an ex or someone that you had a previous sexual encounter with.
However, if your significant other is constantly questioning you or accusing you of inappropriate behavior, start becoming suspicious. This is called projection (and double points if it’s about one of your co-workers).
Cheaters know better than anyone how easy it can happen. If you come back from a business trip and they are convinced that you banged your colleague, chances are that they banged some hottie while you were away.
9. If the cheater is a guy, he might have a messed up relationship with his mother or he is a complete Mommy’s Boy.
For whatever reason (even if it’s justified), if a guy has a negative relationship with his mom, he is likely to not have a lot of respect for women. This is especially true if she had a drug problem or was an alcoholic.
This means that he had to take on the parenting role, compensating for the responsibility that she blew off as a parent. This probably also means that he was unintentionally conditioned to see women as these lesser beings whose thoughts and feelings should not be taken seriously. If you confront him about his cheating behavior, he will most likely gaslight you.
On the flip side, a guy who is a Mommy’s Boy is overindulged. His mother raised him to believe that he could never do wrong in her eyes, no matter how grave the offense. Nothing will ever be his fault (nope, not even cheating) because you were not there taking care of his endless needs. Mommy’s Boys are used to being showered with unconditional love, so they expect any misdeed on their end to be forgiven without any apology on their end.
10. If the cheater is a girl, she might have grown up with an absentee father.
Girls who grow up without a strong male role model in their life have no idea how men should be treated in a relationship. There were not taught how to respect a monogamous relationship because they were never led by example.
This is especially true if they saw their single mother bring home multiple boyfriends in and out of the house. These types are prone to crave validation from men and the more the merrier. Even if they are already in a relationship, one dude just can’t satisfy her to the fullest extent.
11. They grew up with a divorce that was a result of one of their parent’s cheating.
Cheaters are often children of divorce. That is not to say that all children of divorce become cheaters as adults. Divorce rates are at an all-time high and almost more than half of the people reading this probably come from divorced parents.
However, many cheaters come from some sort of broken, unstable home that gives them a distorted sense of reality. As a result, they were never taught the value of a monogamous relationship. If they grew up in a disrespectful environment and/or one of their parents cheated on the other, they will believe this to be normal behavior.
The important thing here to take away from this is that cheating is always a conscious choice. Some cheaters may not display all of these telltale signs because they have mastered their strategy well enough.
Conversely, if someone is displaying some of these signs, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheaters. That could likely mean that they are at least pondering the idea. The best thing you can do is trust your instincts and have your radar on. If something seems fishy, then something is probably going on that you don’t know about.