There is a phenomenon sweeping the annals of celebrity news, and that is the hot guy who just keeps getting hotter over time. It is an inexplicable and undeniable truth that men tend to age better than women, which for a woman who spends way too much money on face lotion is hard enough to swallow. But now, I’m forced to look at all these pictures of guys I already thought were adorable in their 20s and 30s looking like stone cold foxes in their 40s and 50s. And yes I say forced, because they’re gorgeous, and while it might sting, I can’t deny my basic human right to ogle hot dudes. What was once supple and boyish is now chiseled and perfectly weathered, like a stunning wooden chair hand whittled by a hot carpenter. Their shining eyes have not dulled, but rather grown deeper, more complex, because they’ve seen some shit during their drug addiction or 2nd marriage that’s changed them forever. So in the name of science, I have compiled a list of the guys I think have made the biggest hotness leaps for your consideration/fantasy material look book.
1. Colin Firth
So on the left we have Colin Firth circa 95’ in the excellent film “Circle of Friends”, while on the right is 09’ Colin Firth in the depressing but brilliant “A Single Man”. You can see the vague hotness beginning to form around his eyes and chin in the first photo, but the creeper mustache and unfortunate 90s haircut is distracting. Now jump to the more recent photo. His baby fat cheeks have fallen away to reveal perfect lines formed by a life of contemplation and damn good acting skills. He looks like the lost hot Madmen character with a dimple that has matured into a ravine of sexiness. His eyes are still sweet, but now full of wisdom, and I’m back to the chin…Oh that chin.
2. Robert Downey Jr.
Okay, this one’s tough because look at that boy, he just couldn’t help being yummy at every age. On the left is him in the 1989 movie “Chances Are” where he played the reincarnated husband of Cybil Shepard. He was only 24 at the time and already had the soulful eyes and pouty lips. And while his drug addiction may have been fully underway by this point, it had yet to reek havoc on his baby face. Now look to your right. Yeeeeaaahh. I don’t think there’s ever been a sexier comeback than Robert Downey Jr.’s. Life’s struggles have left nothing but hot marks on this guy. Rrrraaarrrrgg (down girl).
3. Justin Timberlake
Oh adorable, fluffy-headed JT… Little did you know that NSYNC would just be the beginning, and that your career would take off far and away beyond pop stardom. Your hotness also grew exponentially with maturity, and a healthy film career. But not those curls, dude. Never again with those curls.
4. Patrick Dempsey
Dempsey is perhaps the most astonishingly better looking with age guy on here. Sure he was a cute little 80s kid, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t dreamt of riding off with him on that tractor at the end of “Can’t Buy Me Love” right up against those tight Levis, but come on. This guy wasn’t ripe until his mid 30s, and then he just kept on ripening. That smoldering stare with a hint of distinguishing crows feet, and light smattering of salt and pepper hair will make me tune into Grey’s Anatomy no matter how terrible it gets.
5. George Clooney
And since we’re on doctors, who could leave out this sexy beast? Clooney has aged like the finest wine in existence. His looks are certainly weathered and even gruff at times, but still he has remained enigmatically hot. It’s hard to believe he ever looked like his younger self, who minus the knife, could’ve been the missing uncle on Full House. There is no man on earth who could make under-eye bags look like the best thing ever, and don’t even get me started on his forehead lines. It really must be exhausting being named sexiest man alive every year forever.
6. Jake Gyllenhaal
Now here’s a case of a guy who always sort of had that hot, tortured look going on, but he only really started to wear it well later in life. Deep-seeded issues tend to look psychotic on anyone under 25, but after that we can just lump it in with “experienced”. And he rocks those baby blues like a smokin Disney prince at every age.
7. Will Smith
Oh Mr. Will Smith. You started off as such a smooth-faced, hilarious kid…and now you’re a hot-faced, multi-talented man who saves the world in many a film with your intense stares. Now stop making adorable kids who are perfect replicas of you and your hot wife! The world can’t handle any more of your attractiveness!
8. John Stamos
From the Fonze of the 80s to hands down hottest chin stubble on record in just 27 years! 27 YEARS! How the Hell does he look so freaking good?! Stamos has got to have a Rapunzel locked away somewhere who when he strokes her hair gives him perfectly aged features that are the envy of any 21 year old guy. And then he bangs her. Because he’s Stamos.
9. David Duchovny
I don’t know anyone who hasn’t fantasized about Fox Mulder from “XFiles”, but little did we know he could get cooler and sexier by majoring in bad boy for the last 15 years. In that time he made the jump from loose canon cop to philandering, miscreant writer Hank Moody on “Californication”, and lets just say the show is more than somewhat based on Duchovny’s actual life. But as you can see, naughty looks very very good on him, and one can only imagine where some of those lines are from.
10. Johnny Depp
We end with a classic. Johnny was, is, and probably always will be smokin, but what’s particularly cool about how well he’s aged is his face shape really hasn’t changed much. We can tell by his harrowing eyes that the years have taught him a great deal about life, love, and the dos and don’ts of tattooing women’s names on your body. He has managed to make facial hair inticing rather than creepy (no small feet), and he never abadoned his ear pierced, long haired roots, for which we love him all the more. Plus he made a career out of being a Keith Richards inspired pirate. Oh and did I mention he’s 50? Yeah…that’s 50. Screw face cream. I’m going to go invest in some well-placed tattoos and life experiences.