The dreaded friend zone. The place where fantasies are made and desires run rampant. How do you escape it? Can you escape it? This question has been asked by so many; yet, a true answer has never been given?
Why? Simply put, it is all a matter of chance.
You want to escape the friend zone, you have to take a leap of faith. That is how you transition from friend to lover, that is how you turn those fantasies, desires, or dreams into reality. Don’t believe me? I have known a number of people that were friends for years and then one day, they looked at each other and everything was different. Timing aligned. Lives aligned. Sparks flew.
So again, the question is how do you make this shift?
How do we ask the universe to take our deepest wishes and actualize them? It may sound trite but here’s the secret: be real and tell the truth. How is living your truth a risk? Why would being authentic be a risk? If they are truly a friend, why would there be a concern if you are being real?
To continue to live a lie, to hide your truth, or to deny yourself joy is more contractive and painful. Who benefits? The friend, as you remain in their lives while you silently suffer through each shared moment of happiness, each story of intimacy, or each social media post of the happy couple? Is it worth it?
The resolution is to be honest, open, and present. If they say no, you are still you and you can move on with your life. You can release the false reality that consumed you, accept what is real, become stronger is your vulnerability, and take value in the open friendship you have just created. If they say yes, you are still you but now your dreams are a reality. Your fantasies are now your present. You can have it all and no longer wonder what if or miss out because you remained quiet.
Either way, you are still fabulous, amazing, and brave.
Stop letting yes or no define you. Stop giving away your power due to fear of the unknown. Do not let them be the source of your self-worth.
Trust in the No as much as the Yes. Sometimes a “no:” from one person opens the door to a “yes” from someone right around the corner. Just keep showing up and never let the fear of rejection prevent you from claiming your happiness. Being real, authentic, honest and bold are gifts to your life. Don’t squander them.