Short Man Dating Tall Woman Dies In Climbing Accident

Ben White

A real estate broker from Cincinnati, OH fell to his death while climbing a step stool to hug his much taller girlfriend.

Belchen suffered his fatal spill when he tumbled from the top step of this wooden stool and smashed his head on a concrete floor, snapping his neck.

Paul Belchen was standing on his tiptoes to gently kiss the top of Alexa Marcarian’s head when she pulled back suddenly leaving him off balance and swiping at the air to grasp onto something. Before Marcarian could catch him, Belchen slammed his head on the polished concrete floor of their warehouse loft apartment, broke his neck, and died in the ambulance en route to the hospital.

“I’m devastated,” said a weeping Marcarian, “I knew there would be awkward selfies, no eye contact, and that Paul would never carry me over the threshold, but I couldn’t imagine he’d fall to his death while we were making out. I’ll never forget the look of fear and desperation on Paul’s face as he hurtled passed my chin, tried to grab onto my boobs, accelerated as he shot passed the midline of my waist, and screamed going by my knees. It was horrible!”

Marcarian said that she felt traumatized by the freak accident and would probably never date a smaller guy again.

“They’re so cute and sweet, but the bottom line is that tiny men just aren’t physically able to handle the height differential.”

The funeral will be held on Thursday at the Crossroads Church on Madison Road. Ms. Marcarian will be the only pallbearer. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Allan Ishac is a humor writer living in New York City. His politics are left and he’s always right. He posts satire daily on

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