When I was five years old, I won a coloring contest put on by our local newspaper. My prize was an art set almost as big as me.
In elementary school, they chose a student’s drawing each year to be the cover of the yearbook. In fifth grade, I won. My drawing of a ship called the “S.S. Friendship” was featured on the cover of the 2001-2002 yearbook.
I started forming this belief that I was lucky. Not that I was, like, artistically gifted. Nope, I started believing that magical things happened for me.
That belief followed me around everywhere I went. Anytime there was a contest to enter, I’d think, I bet I’ll win this. A lot of times I did.
Maybe you call that the Law of Attraction? Manifestation? Whatever you want to call it, it works.
So, I’ve held onto that belief. It’s as much a part of me as my hair is blonde. I’m lucky and things usually work out great for me.
As a result, I’ve experienced many moments in life where things have worked out so seamlessly and almost effortlessly, it’s scary. Friends look at me in shock. “I can’t believe that happened for you!” they say. And, bewildered myself, I just smile and shrug.
The Power Of Self-Belief
What we believe about ourselves shapes the world we live in.
During my teenage years, insecurity hit and I started doubting myself. “I’m not good enough” became a major belief of mine, which overshadowed my feelings of being lucky.
This belief of not being good enough translated into me staying in crappy relationships, letting people walk all over me, and not feeling confident enough to take risks.
I was hard on myself. I played small. I wallowed in self-pity.
When you believe you’re not good enough, when you believe nothing good ever happens for you or something always goes wrong, taking chances feels scarier. Instead, you stay where you’re safe. This is too good to be true. Things never work out for me.
That’s where a lot of people stay stuck. They convince themselves they don’t want what they actually want. They think there’s no way it could happen for them. I know I missed out on a lot of my own potential for years because I thought this way.
Trusting The Process
If you want an amazing relationship or that director position or to buy a home on the lake, you have to fully, truly believe it’ll happen because you’re capable of making it happen.
It doesn’t mean sitting on your couch hoping, wishing, and waiting. It means working toward that goal, that thing you want, with unrelenting faith and tenacity. I’ll say it every which way: Tou truly have to believe it’s going to happen because you’re taking the steps to make it happen. Bottom line. Period.
When going for what I want, I’m always flexible in my approach and always open to better detours. Meaning I have an idea of what I want in my life, but I don’t always know exactly what it looks like or how I’m going to get there. I think that’s where a lot of people get stuck. They visualize what they want and then turn down anything that doesn’t look exactly like that.
Let’s say you’re single and meet a man you feel connected to from the moment you met him. But he doesn’t fit the description you’d envisioned for yourself. Maybe he doesn’t eat as healthy as you thought your future husband would; maybe he’s a tad shorter than you’d pictured for yourself.
I think God/The Universe presents us with gifts all the time and it’s up to us to see them for what they are. Trust your gut. If something new comes into your life that causes you to think twice, don’t ignore it because it doesn’t look exactly like you thought. Sometimes intuition trumps intellect.
If I had to break down my manifestation process into steps, here’s what they’d look like:
1. Recognize what I want.
2. Work toward the goal with unrelenting faith.
3. Be flexible with my approach.
4. Recognize the opportunity and give 100% to get it.
Believing in this way is something everyone can do. And believing any difficulties you encounter are happening for you—whether to teach you a lesson, give you strength, or deter you from the wrong thing—is a really important part of that belief system.
Let me share a couple examples to give more color to this.
Finding The Love Of My Life
Right before I met my boyfriend, Matt, I was single at the same time as a lot of my girlfriends. Many of them would repeatedly say, “Guys suck. I’m never going to meet anyone good.”
And while I was sick of guys myself at that point, I never let myself go there. I really, wholeheartedly believed I’d meet someone great, though I didn’t have any evidence to back it up. To their complaints, I’d just respond, “Nah, there’s good ones out there. We’ll meet them!”
One week before I met Matt, I wrote in my journal: “I need to keep a positive outlook and really enjoy my life. I’m so lucky to be in California. I want to make the most of every moment while I’m young and single, because I know one day I will be married and have a family. I’ll cherish these days. 2016 needs to be a year where I control my mind and just be happy in the moment.”
I was going through a tough time then. I remember. Most of my journal entries right before that were filled with anxious thoughts and frustrations. But despite all that, I really trusted and knew that things would work out because they always do.
I wasn’t trying too hard to get a boyfriend because I felt happy on my own. But I was also kind of lonely. So I downloaded a dating app called Hinge, something I swore I’d never do. I swiped and swiped and matched with this guy named Matt.
I had this weird feeling as soon as I saw his photos. Like, this deep knowing inside. He epitomized everything I’d ever been attracted to. He felt like this perfect human and I’d never even met him. I don’t know how to explain it well, because it wasn’t just a physical attraction; it was a strong gut instinct that something was different.
The next morning, as I drove to work, I admired the snow on the peaks of the mountains. A few moments later, I received my first ever text from Matt. “Wow, do you see how cool the mountains look today?!”
We met for the first time a week later. As I walked into the restaurant and saw his warm smile, I immediately felt at home. We talked and talked. We went through two bottles of wine. I went to the bathroom and texted my mom, “He’s AMAZING.” I’d never felt this way before, but I just knew he was the one. I knew, from that moment on, we were going to be very important to one another.
Let’s break down how I manifested this relationship based on the steps I laid out above.
1. Recognizing what I wanted: I wanted a relationship with a good guy. At this point I was comfortable being single and knew I wasn’t willing to settle for anyone who wasn’t a good match for me.
2. Working toward the goal with unrelenting faith: Despite not having my own evidence of great guys being out there, I knew there was someone perfect waiting for me. I was open to dating new people. I put myself out there despite being hurt in the past.
3. Being flexible with my approach: I didn’t have a checklist of criteria my future boyfriend needed to meet. I trusted I’d know when I met the right person. And I joined a dating app despite always talking badly about them. When I let go of the idea that I needed to meet someone “organically,” I allowed myself to be open to new opportunities.
4. Recognizing the opportunity and giving 100% to get it: When I matched with Matt, I got a feeling I’d never experienced before. I recognized there was something special about this guy. Despite this being my first ever date from a dating app, I overcame my worries and met up with him. I knew he was “the one” very quickly; I didn’t let any fears or worries stop me from moving forward.
Manifesting your dreams into reality is like a dance. It’s knowing when to lead and when to follow. It’s a perfect harmony of belief, trust, flexibility, and tenacity.
Take time to get quiet every day so you’re able to hear what you want. Not what you think you should be doing. Not what your friends are doing or what your parents wish for you. What do you want?
With clarity, you’re able to more easily see the gifts you’re being presented with. Your path slowly reveals itself. When you’re focused and clear about what you want in your life, you’ll start seeing the synchronicities everywhere that get you closer to your dream.