I needed you in a way that I will never need anyone again. I needed you to break me down, walk all over me, lie to my face when you tell me you love me. I needed that, so I can never let it happened again. So thank you, for giving me exactly what I never knew I needed.
I thought I had love figured out. From watching a loveless marriage crash and burn, to holding my best friend when she cried uncontrollably over her high school sweetheart. I had watched and learned from countless individuals, read books, and watched movies. I knew better than to let someone treat me so horribly, like a joke. But yet, I let you take me over.
That is the only thing I have ever needed you for. I needed you to show me exactly what love was not. You showed me the way I should not be treated. You pushed me so far into a hole that darkness was all I knew for months on end. With every lie, with every “I love you”, every goodbye…I had no idea that they were all exactly what I needed.
You led me to the point of realization. The point where I had to come to terms with reality. This was not love, this was not anything. So I let you go. You tried to hold onto me for a little while. But I knew you felt the same way, which was nothing.
You lead me to happiness. You made me see the true colors of friendship and of love, and I thank you for that. I was forced to realize the truth of so many things I ignored before.
I started to take risks and adventure by the horns. I did things I never thought I could do. I laughed more than I ever have, and I danced like I was the only one in the room. From being sad all the time, to being the happiness woman in the world, I have you to thank.
Then eventually over a course of eight months you lead me into the arms of a real man. While I was out smiling and dancing, the eyes of a man caught mine. While I was so busy being happy and full of life, someone appeared from the shadows to give me more. Thanks to you, I am to fall back on the most incredible man I have ever known. Thanks to you, I found him.
He never lets me question him, never has me second guessing. He is everything you could never be, and it is so fantastic. But I realize that I needed you. I needed you to show me everything I did not deserve, so I can see what I truly do deserve.
So thank you for showing me the way I never want to feel again. I am eternally grateful for the hurt you brought me, because without it, I would have never become so happy and so hungry for success.